Bits and Pieces
by NettieC
Summary: The long awaited sequel to Picking Up the Pieces. Three years on Liv and El are making a new life in Washington DC but one incident upends their life and the way back is never going to be easy.
1. Chapter 1

Bits and Pieces

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, but I'm sure Mr Wolf won't mind.

**This is the sequel to Picking Up the Pieces, where Kathy died. While you don't have to have read it for this to make sense, it will give you some background information. This is set three years on.**

To Laura and Hannah, thank you for everything.

To Sam, love you heaps and I appreciated the chat ... not that it was evident last weekend, but I did.

**/bitsandpieces\**

Three years on

Olivia Stabler moaned and rolled over in the large, otherwise empty bed. Her eyes opened as she struggled to focus in the darkness of her bedroom.

They'd been living in this house in DC nearly six months and she still had to think twice about her surroundings when she awoke. But she never had to think twice about the cause of her late night wake up. Olivia slowly pushed herself and held her arms out as her youngest daughters came into the room.

"I'm sorry, mom, I couldn't get her to stop," said Liz, carrying her distressed three and a half year old year old sister, Molly.

"Hey pumpkin," she soothed reaching out for her youngest daughter, who bore a striking resemblance to herself but with her daddy's deep blue eyes. "Come to mommy." Molly reached out and clung to her. "Hey, hey, what's wrong, Molly, huh?"

"She was calling for dad," Liz reported, sitting down on the edge of the bed and rubbing Molly's back. "She's been like this for twenty minutes." Liz said, stifling another yawn.

"You should have woken me, baby, I would have got up to her," Olivia said trying to sit up in the bed with Molly still attached.

"You haven't been well, mom, I thought I'd do it," Liz said.

"Thanks, Liz, but I'm okay," she said, rubbing Molly's back.

"Want daddy," sobbed Molly into Olivia's chest.

"So do I, pumpkin, but he's not here," Olivia soothed.

"When's he coming home?" Liz asked.

"As soon as he can, baby, as soon as he can." She kissed Molly's head and rocked her gently.

Before long the sobs had subsided and Molly had drifted off to sleep.

Olivia eased her down into the bed beside her and covered her up. She turned back as Liz went to get up. She took her hand and pulled her closer.

"That's one of my babies happy, let me try and make it two. What's up, Liz?" she asked quietly.

"Nothing, mom," she said, shaking her head.

"You said nothing last week when you'd been in your room crying, you said it on Saturday when you pretended to be sick so you wouldn't have to go out with Jessica and you said that last night when you were laying on your bed doing nothing," Olivia said gently.

Liz sat quietly and dropped her head. Molly rolled over in bed so Olivia moved into the middle and Liz slipped in beside her.

"Talk to me, baby girl," Olivia soothed and Liz wrapped her arms around her stepmom.

"Carrie emailed me last week to say Jason is going out with Carla Ellis," she said as Olivia stroked her hair.

"Oh, baby, why didn't you tell me?" Olivia said kissing her.

"You were sick and …" she began.

"I'm never too sick for you, Liz…you could have told me." She hugged her tighter.

Olivia waited patiently and knew her fifteen year old daughter would tell her in her own good time.

And eventually she did.

"I knew when we moved it wouldn't work with me being here and Jason in New York and I know we broke up when we were back there seeing Dad two months ago but…" Her voice trailed and she sighed deeply.

"But you didn't think he'd get a new girlfriend so soon," Olivia ended Liz's train of thought.

She shook her head. "No, I didn't. I mean I know it's easier for him to get on with things, he's still got all his friends, he's not the one who had to move away…"

Olivia kissed her head again. No one was overly excited by the move to DC, but Liz was the least excited of the all. She argued against it from the first time Elliot raised the matter over dinner one night. She protested at every possible occasion and boycotted most of the packing. In the end she conceded it had to be done and she wouldn't be allowed to stay in New York with Maureen. Reluctantly, she agreed to try and be happy about it.

"You'll find someone here, baby," Olivia soothed.

"No, I won't. I hate it here and they hate me," she sobbed.

Olivia pulled back from her. "Just last week you were talking about Tori, Stacy and Vanessa. What's happening with them?"

"They're just girls in my class, I've had lunch with them a few times, not exactly friends," she said, wiping at her eyes.

"Baby girl, why didn't you tell me you were having so much trouble settling in?" Olivia asked.

"Because you'd probably have thought it was my fault because I never wanted to come here in the first place," she grumbled, trying to get up but Olivia wouldn't let her go.

"I would never have thought that, Liz," Olivia soothed. "Is there another reason you didn't tell me?"

"Honestly, didn't think you'd care…" she began.

"What?!" Olivia interrupted.

"No, I knew you'd care but you had stuff to do with the house and Molly and starting your new job. And dad was away which made everything worse and I tried to tell Kathleen when I spoke to her last week and she said it was all my fault…I didn't want to be here and to quit making everybody miserable with my problems." Liz sighed again.

Olivia shook her head; Kathleen had a lot to learn about supporting others, especially her sisters. "Elizabeth Stabler, look at me!" Olivia commanded quietly. "Your dad and I are never too busy for you; you can always come to us regardless of what else is happening. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, mom," she said and hugged her tightly. "Can I sleep with you guys tonight?"

"Sure, honey, just go around to your dad's side," she said. Liz went around the bed and slipped into Elliot's side of the bed, a place he hadn't been in just over three months. Olivia readjusted the quilt and snuggled down stretching her arm over her daughters.

"I like this bed," Liz said as fixed the pillow.

"I do too," she replied.

"It's a good size for the three of us," she yawned.

"Three of us?" Olivia questioned. "I think you have your dad's problem."

"Which one?" Liz asked, opening her eyes.

"Not being able to count," Olivia smiled.

"Mom, there are three of us in the bed," Liz said.

"Can you keep a secret?" Olivia asked, her eyes gleaming.

"Sure!" Liz propped herself up on an elbow.

"There are four in the bed," Olivia beamed. "I'm pregnant,"

"Pregnant? Really?" Liz said.

"Doctor confirmed it earlier today when I was there," Olivia replied grinning.

"Wow!" Liz went to hug her stepmother but was restricted by Molly. She jumped out of bed and ran around launching herself at Olivia and squeezing her tightly. "I'm so happy!"

"So am I, baby," Olivia said, kissing Liz's head.

"And dad doesn't know?" she asked.

"No, I tried to ring, left lots of messages but he was out," Olivia said. "I'll find a way to surprise him."

"He's going to be so excited!" Liz squealed, obviously enthused.

"I hope so," Olivia said. They had never said no to another baby but they hadn't exactly planned on it either.

"I guess this baby has one thing in common with us," Liz said as she rounded the bed once more.

"What's that, honey?" Olivia asked.

"Baby was made in New York like the rest of us kids," Liz grinned.

In the darkness of the room, Liz couldn't see the embarrassed flush on Olivia's face. "Um, yeah," she finally conceded.

**/bitsandpieces\**


	2. Chapter 2

Bits and Pieces

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, but I'm sure Mr Wolf won't mind.

**AN: Thank you to all who stopped to review, I appreciate the effort. For those who read and alerted without reviewing, thanks for the gesture, I'd love to hear from you when you get the chance.**

**bitsandpieces**

A few hours later, still well before dawn, Elliot leaned on the door jamb of his bedroom door gazing at his youngest daughters curled up in his bed with his wife; one with long golden locks, the other with brown ringlets but both with their daddy's eyes. He sighed with an inner contentment he had rarely experienced in his life. Smiling, he watched as his baby girl stirred. Well, not his youngest daughter, but Liz; his baby girl. His mind wandered back to the day they had brought Molly home from the hospital, he and Olivia were in the nursery settling the infant in her new room when the twins had returned with Maureen.

_"Hey guys," Elliot said when they gathered at the door watching. "Come on in."_

_Lizzie and Dickie moved over to the crib as Olivia gently rocked the bed._

_"Aww," gushed Lizzie, "she's so cute!" _

_"Not bad for a girl, I guess," Dickie admitted, still disappointed she wasn't a boy._

_"Take no notice of your brother, baby girl," soothed Elliot, gently rubbing Molly's stomach._

_Lizzie's eyes darted between her father and her new sister and Olivia watched as her face crumbled. "You okay, Lizzie?" she asked, reaching her hand out to her._

_"Yeah, I've got homework," she replied leaving the room quickly before Olivia's hand could touch her._

_"No, you don't," Dickie called after her._

_"How do you know?" Elliot asked his son before glancing at the empty doorway. _

_"She told me on the way home…" he replied. Elliot moved to follow Lizzie but Olivia stopped him._

_"I'll go," Olivia said, gently patting Elliot's hand._

_After lightly rapping on Lizzie's door, Olivia got no response. She opened the door slightly to find the girl lying across her bed crying into her pillow._

_"Hey baby," she said laying down on the bed next to her. "What's wrong?"_

_"Nothing," Lizzie replied, though it was muffled by the pillow._

_Olivia rolled onto her side and gently raked her fingers through Lizzie's hair. "Talk to me, baby girl," she said softly._

_"I'm not though, am I?" she said turning away._

_"Oh," said Olivia, reaching out and gently encouraging her to come closer. "Your dad called Molly 'baby girl' and that's upset you."_

_"It shouldn't, I know because she is the baby and she is a girl but that's what mom used to call me and …" She started sobbing and held tight to Olivia. _

_"Oh Lizzie," Olivia soothed, kissing her head and hugging her tightly. "You will always be your mom's baby girl …"_

_"But not dad's," she interrupted with a sob. "That's Molly and she's his and yours and that changes everything because I'm not and… and…"_

_"Whoa, Liz, take a breath …" Olivia said quickly, rubbing gentle circles on Lizzie's back, waiting for her to calm down before continuing. "You will always be your mom and dad's baby girl and don't think for one minute I love you any less because Molly has come along because that's just not going to happen."_

_"You say that now," replied Lizzie. "But she's yours and I'm just some kid you got in the deal with dad," she sniffled, running her sleeve across her face._

_"Let me tell you something, Elizabeth Stabler," Olivia said sitting up and pulling Lizzie's face up to meet hers. "I fell in love with you the first time I met you." Lizzie looked at her sceptically. "I did. Your dad and I called into your house in the first year of our partnership and there you were, all of three with these cute pink overalls with a yellow Care Bear on the front pocket and your hair was short and curly and kept in place with a pink ribbon. When we were leaving you called me 'Obia' because you couldn't say my name and you hugged my legs and left handprints of peanut butter and jelly on my trousers."_

_"Really?" Lizzie asked, wiping away her tears._

_"Really!" Olivia confirmed. "And yes, Molly is the daughter I gave birth to but I think of you as one too. I know I'm not your mom but …"_

_"I think of you as my mom," Lizzie interrupted, grabbing onto Olivia's shirt._

_Now it was Olivia's turn to cry as she hugged Lizzie tightly to her before brushing the hair from her forehead, and wiping away the child's tears._

_"Tell you what, we'll give Molly a different nickname and you can keep 'baby girl' …" Olivia said, kissing the child's head. She nodded. "What do you think it should be?"_

_"Pumpkin," Lizzie replied, her voice still unsteady._

_"Pumpkin it is," Olivia said._

_Olivia closed her eyes and hugged Lizzie to her, her daughter had just drifted off when Olivia looked up to find Elliot standing in the door way._

_"Everything alright?" he whispered, his eyes full of concern._

_"Yeah," she replied, easing herself off the bed and into her husband's arms._

_"What was the problem?" he asked, kissing her cheek._

_"You called Molly 'baby girl'," she whispered, "and Lizzie didn't really want to give that nickname up."_

_"Oh," replied Elliot. "But…"_

_"But nothing, El…for twelve years she's been 'baby girl', it's what you and Kathy called her … she's under the impression life will be different now because we have our own baby and, as she said, she's only some kid I got in the deal with you," Olivia explained._

_"But…"_

_"But it's not true and I told her so. I just think she needs to keep this one thing … the last couple of years have been hard enough without adding to it … so I told her we'd nickname Molly something different and she picked 'pumpkin' so 'pumpkin' it is!" Olivia reached up and kissed his cheek._

_"I love you very much, Olivia Benson – Stabler," Elliot said, drawing her into a tighter embrace._

_"While we're changing names, let's say we drop the Benson," she replied. "Except for work."_

_"Are you sure? I mean I'd love you to but when we married you said you wanted to keep Benson," he said, brushing her hair from her face._

_"Yeah, I know, and for the sake of the job I think I still need to be Detective Benson but for everything else I want to have the same name as my children and my gorgeous husband," she whispered._

_Elliot had no words._

_So he just kissed her._

Now he watched as Liz stirred and rolled over. She opened her eyes and gasped in fright when she realised there was someone standing in the doorway, someone who wasn't her twin, the only other person in the house.

"It's okay, baby girl," said Elliot coming towards her. "It's only me."

"Dad," Liz squealed launching herself from the bed and towards her father.

"I take it you've missed me," he said hugging her tightly.

"Yeah, so has Molly, she's been crying every night for you," Liz reported, still holding onto him.

"Aww," Elliot sighed. He kissed Liz's forehead and moved to the bed, scooping his youngest child up into his arms. "Hello pumpkin," he whispered kissing her head. The child stirred but didn't wake. "I love you, Molly," he said as he repositioned her in his arms. "I love you too, Liz. How come you're both in here with mom?"

"Molly was crying and I couldn't settle her so I brought her in to mom and then I stayed here," Liz explained, dropping on the edge of the bed.

"Oh, okay," Elliot said as he watched Molly begin to wake up.

"Daddy," mumbled Molly looking up at Elliot.

"Hey, Molly, how's my girl?" he asked, pulling her up as she wound her fat little arms around his neck.

"Love Daddy," she yawned, her eyes at half mast.

"Love you too, pumpkin," he replied, kissing her head.

"Daddy 'mells," she muttered before drifting off again.

Liz laughed. "What did she say?" asked Elliot.

"She said 'daddy smells'," Liz laughed again. "And I've gotta say she's right."

"I've been flat out for the last thirty six hours and didn't have a chance to shower." He scrubbed a hand down his stubbled cheek. "And then I broke all land speed records to drive back here tonight."

"Why?" asked Liz.

"Because your mother…" he looked across at his wife, surprised she was still asleep, "… left four messages and rang countless times … I was worried."

"There's nothing wrong, dad," Liz said and couldn't help but smile.

"Are you sure? I got the feeling someone was sick," he said, still watching Olivia.

"Oh yeah, mom's been sick…nothing serious though…she's feeling a bit better now but just really tired," Liz said as innocently as she could.

"You sure?" he asked again.

"Here, I'll take Molly back to my bed, you check with mom," Liz said grinning, reaching out to take her sister. Within a few minutes the girls were gone.

**bitsandpieces**

**If you've read this far and liked it, please leave me a note.**

**If you've read this far and didn't like it, why did you keep reading?**


	3. Chapter 3

Bits and Pieces

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, but I'm sure Mr Wolf won't mind.

**AN: Thank you to all who stopped to review, I appreciate the effort. For those who read and alerted without reviewing, thanks for the gesture, I'd love to hear from you when you get the chance.**

**This is updated especially for Blissful Curses - Happy Birthday, honey! Love you heaps!**

**bitsandpieces**

When the girls were gone Elliot stripped down to his navy checked boxers and white beater before sliding between the sheets and over to his wife.

"Olivia," he whispered, gently kissing her head. She failed to stir. "Liv," he called a bit louder gently shaking her.

Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled when she saw her husband's face inches from her own. "Hey, baby," he cooed.

Olivia smiled. "I'm dreaming, aren't I?" she said wearily.

"No, Livvy, I'm really here." He leant in and kissed her tenderly.

When Olivia awoke sufficiently to realise it wasn't another dream, she pulled her arms from under the covers and wrapped them around Elliot's neck. "God, I've missed you."

"Missed you too, baby,' he mumbled, deepening their kiss.

When he eventually pulled back, she looked up at him.

"They run out of water in Manhattan, El?" she asked, propping herself up on her elbows.

"No," he replied, feigning offence. "As I was explaining to our daughters…"

"Where'd they go?" Olivia interrupted, looking around the room.

"Liz took Molly to her bed," Elliot answered. "As I was saying … as I told our daughters, I've been flat out for the last thirty six hours and then flat out driving back here…"

"Why the big rush?" Olivia yawned.

"Because you rang me so many times and then left the same message four times; "El, I need you to call me". I just wanted to get back to you," he said, an earnestness coming over his features.

"You could have just called," Olivia said, a soft smile on her lips.

"I could have but this way I get to see you, and kiss you and make love to you…can't do that on the phone," he grinned, as his lips met her head.

"Well, we've done the last one on the phone a few times…" she smirked.

"Yeah, but I'd rather do it face to face than any other way." He pulled her closer to him.

"Mmmm, me too," she said as he nuzzled he neck.

"Do you know how long it is since we made love, baby?" he mumbled, trailing kisses down her neck.

"Two months, one week and three days," she replied, her back arching at his tender caresses.

"Keeping count?" he asked as his hand worked its way down her abdomen.

"Nope, that's what the doctor told me yesterday," she said nonchalantly.

Elliot stopped immediately. "Doctor?" he said, moving back to face her. "Liz said you'd been sick but said it was nothing serious. Why didn't you tell me? Why did you have to go the doctor if it wasn't serious? What's…"

Olivia put a finger to his lips. "Can I get a word in, please?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah, of course, sorry," he said, kissing her finger.

"I went to the doctor because I hadn't been feeling well. I did call you yesterday, as you will recall, but you didn't get back to me," she said, before kissing his nose.

"So?" he asked when she disclosed nothing else. "What did the doctor say?

"The doctor did some tests, got the results and said 'Congratulations Mrs Stabler, it's positive'."

She waited for his response. It was delayed but it came.

"Positive? Congratulations? You're…we're pregnant?" he gasped, his hands gripping her upper arms.

"We're pregnant!" she confirmed excitedly.

"Oh god, Liv, that's wonderful!!" He grabbed her, kissing her passionately. When he pulled back he tried to do the calculations…"You said 'two months, one week and …"

"Three days," she grinned.

"Three days," he repeated. "You know that means this baby was…"

"Was conceived in New York," she confirmed, nodding her head vigorously. "Yep, just like the rest of the Stabler kids."

"How did you know I was going to say that?" he asked, wide eyed.

"Your daughter already mentioned it?" Olivia said, smiling at his expression.

"You told the kids already?" he asked surprised.

"Just Liz; and only about two hours ago, when she was right where you are now. Sorry, I just couldn't hold it in anymore," she apologised.

"Nah, it's okay."

Elliot ran his hand down her nightgown then back up underneath and onto her bare stomach. He rubbed gently across the flat surface as he kissed Olivia again. "Thank you, Olivia," he said sincerely before moving down and placing six gentle kisses on her abdomen … one for each of their children. He made his way back up her body and then his eyes locked with hers.

"Thank you, El," she replied, reaching up to kiss him. "You know, I think this one's a boy," she added, her hand making its way around his neck to pull him to her.

"Really?" He pulled back.

"Can't be sure but I think so, feels different to Molly," she said, running her fingers through his hair.

"Another girl would be great," he said wistfully, "but a boy…well…"

"A boy, just like his daddy would be perfect." She kissed him again and again.

When Elliot repositioned himself, moving closer to her, Olivia put up her hand. "El, before we start anything you really need to take a shower," she said.

"But Liv…" he began to protest, knowing if he didn't have her very soon he'd most likely embarrass himself completely.

"But nothing … we're both going to get very hot and sweaty and my stomach's not going to cope with that on top of you now…" she explained.

"Okay," he conceded, willing to do anything if it resulted in getting hot and sweaty with his wife.

Climbing over Olivia, Elliot headed to the bathroom door, discarding his beater and boxers as he went. He stopped at the bathroom and wiggled his butt at her, knowing she was watching his every move. Starting the water, he stepped into the steaming hot stream, instantly grabbing the body gel body, determined not to waste a second more than necessary.

Rubbing the gel vigorously around his body, absorbed in his own actions, he failed to notice the shower curtain move. It wasn't until his wife stepped into the shower with him he knew he had company.

"Can I do that for you?" she asked, taking the gel bottle and squeezing some into her hand. Olivia didn't want to waste any time either.

"Sure," he grinned as she moved closer to him, rubbing her hands together to ensure the gel was evenly spread. Tenderly placing her hands on his shoulders she began rubbing them in small circles, downwards and massaging his chest. He moaned when she paid special attention to his nipples. Ignoring his obvious response to her nearness and caresses, she grabbed her loofah and proceeded to gently scrub his entire body, leaving his now hardened length until last.

"I…ah…I think we're done now," he said, moving to turn the water off.

"No, one part to go," she smiled, dropping to her knees in front of him. She moved to touch him but he grabbed her hand.

"Uhuh, Liv, don't," he said, gently pushing her back. "Or this will be over before we start."

Not wanting that to be the case at all, she instantly conceded and allowed him to help her up. They stepped out of the shower and Elliot grabbed a huge blue bath towel and wrapped it around her, before grabbing his towel and carefully dabbing the excess water from her face and hair.

"Can I touch you now?" she asked moving into him and running her arms around his neck as he tied the towel around his waist.

"Ah ha," he moaned as she brushed against him.

"And can I kiss you?" she asked, already trailing kisses across his chest.

"Ah ha," he groaned.

"And can I make love to you all night?" she murmured.

"Oh god, yes!" he exclaimed, scooping her up and spinning around to go back to bed in a hurry. In his enthusiasm, he moved too quickly and his movements were halted as Olivia's head whacked into the door jamb. She groaned in pain and her fingers immediately went to the site of the impact; her right temple.

Quickly Elliot released her legs, keeping one arm tightly wrapped around her upper body. Her legs were wobbly and she was momentarily stunned but he tried to get her to stand up so he could inspect the damage.

"Oh Liv, god I'm sorry," he said repeatedly, as his free hand gently moved her fingers away. He was relieved to see there was no blood, although the area was discoloured. "Are you alright, baby?" he asked fixing his focus back on her face. "Livvy, are you okay?" he repeated when she failed to answer.

She slowly nodded. "Yeah, it's okay, I'm good," she said cautiously.

"How many fingers can you see?" he asked, holding up three fingers in front of her face.

"Three," she sighed, hoping the throbbing in her skull would ease.

"Are you seeing straight?" he asked, trying to maintain eye contact.

"Well, I can see you," she replied, leaving off the fact there were now two of him.

"Headache?" he questioned, his hand caressing her face.

"What do you think?" she asked annoyance edging into her voice.

"Do you feel sick?" he continued, ignoring it..

"Yes!" she said sharply but seeing his face she took pity on him and added, "I am pregnant."

"Oh god, the baby, I'm so sorry. Is the baby alright?" he asked anxiously, stroking her head.

"El, the baby is in my uterus not in my head, of course it's alright," she sighed. She loved him dearly but an anxious Elliot she couldn't deal with right now. "I'm good, El," she said, patting his cheek. "My head's a bit sore but I'll be fine. Now, where were we?" she said, heading out of the bathroom and back to their bed despite the pain in her head.

She dropped her towel beside the bed and climbed back in, turning to find Elliot still standing at the bathroom door. "You changed your mind?" she asked as she held her hand out to him. Slowly he made his way over and slipped into the bed beside her. "You left your towel on," she noted as he pulled the quilt up.

"I don't think we should do anything tonight," he said quietly.

"Why not?" Olivia pouted.

"You just hit your head really hard, I just don't think it's a good idea," he explained, his fingers barely stroking her head.

"Elliot, I'm good, I promise." She moved closer and kissed him gently. "And I promise…" she kissed him again, "…if I think it's too much…" she kissed him again, "…I'll stop and let you know…okay?"

Elliot tried to object but as she rolled onto him and her tongue disappeared into his mouth his brain disengaged and his body took over.

**bitsandpieces**

**If you've read this far and liked it, please leave me a note.**

**If you've read this far and didn't like it, why did you keep reading?**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, but I'm sure Mr Wolf won't mind.

**AN: Thank you to all who stopped to review, I appreciate the effort. For those who read and alerted without reviewing, thanks for the gesture, I'd love to hear from you when you get the chance.**

**bitsandpieces**

When Elliot awoke and heard movement from downstairs in the kitchen he quickly got up and pulled on his sweats before turning off Olivia's alarm and allowing her to sleep through the normal Friday morning rush.

"Hey Rick," he said as he entered the kitchen and placed a hand on his son's shoulder.

"Dad!" Rick spun around, surprised to see his father at home. "Why are you here?"

"I live here, son," he said as he moved to pour himself a coffee.

"Yeah, I know, it's just that mom never said…" Rick began.

"That's because mom never knew…I got in just after one," he answered.

"How long are you home for?" he asked, tired of existing in a house of females.

"Should be able to stretch a long weekend out til about Tuesday," Elliot yawned as he rubbed his eyes.

"Then you go back?" Rick sighed.

"Yep, but hopefully it will be all over soon and I'll be here fulltime," Elliot said sitting down at the table.

"Heard that before," he grumbled grabbing his toast and juice and sitting across the table from his father.

"Dickie…"

"It's Rick, dad, Rick," Rick corrected.

Elliot sighed. His darling twins had always been Dickie and Lizzie from the day they were born but on the evening before the move they had sat their parents down and informed them that they were no longer little kids. Moving to Washington DC was a big move for everyone and as they were nearly fifteen the names were no longer appropriate.

They issued the directive, in a manner only fourteen year olds can do, that starting the next day, they would only respond to Rick and Liz and under NO circumstance were the older Stablers to forget that.

Especially when they had friends around.

"Rick, I explained to you why I had to work on this taskforce in New York, didn't I? I know it's not ideal but we talked through this … it had to be either your mother or me and in the end we decided it would be best if it was me," Elliot explained.

"We didn't decide, you and _she_ did," Rick grumbled.

"Hey, I want to hear more respect when you talk about your mother…" Elliot cautioned.

"_Step_ mother," Rick interrupted.

"Step mother, then," he amended. "Where's all this coming from?"

"No where, dad," Rick sighed "No where."

"It must be," Elliot said, studying his son. "What is it?"

Rick fiddled with the knife on the side of his plate. "I used to think it was bad enough when we lived in Queens and there was Mo and Kathleen and mom…I mean mom mom, not mommy Liv. It was always girls and girlie things and everything. But it's so much worse now…probably because Molly is little and all, but everywhere you turn there's dolls and pink crap and hormones and PMS and at least when you're around there's a bit of balance…" he said, it all rushing out.

"I know it's tough, son, honestly I do…there's only so many salads and vanilla fragrances a man can handle," Elliot conceded. "Now's probably not the greatest time to mention hormones because your mom's pregnant..."

"Again?" Rick rolled his eyes. "God, dad, really?"

"Yes, really. Got a problem with that?" Elliot asked in a warning tone.

Rick rolled his eyes again but thought better of expressing his opinion that his parents were far too old to be having sex, let alone procreating. "Nuh," he finally said.

"The good news is that mom thinks this one might be a boy," Elliot grinned. "That will help even the score…"

"Yeah, but I'll probably be in college before he's even out of diapers." Rick dumped his plate and glass in the sink and headed towards the bathroom as Liz came in.

"Morning, dad," she said throwing her arms around Elliot's neck and hugging him tightly. "I'm glad you're home." She kissed his cheek.

"Me too," he replied, drinking his coffee.

"Where's mom?" she asked, looking around.

"Still asleep," he replied. "She told me her news…"

"It's going to be so great to have another baby around the house," Liz enthused. "Another little sister to…"

"Mom thinks it may be a boy," Elliot interrupted.

"Aww, a baby boy would be so cute too…" she gushed. "I can't wait til I have a baby of my own."

"You bloody well can," Elliot snapped. "You're not having se…"

"Dad!" Liz stopped him. "Don't even ask! I meant I can't wait to have one when I'm older."

"Just clarifying…" he replied, feeling five years older than he had when the conversation started.

Liz saw the relief on her father's face but decided she would have her own fun at his expense. "Besides when mom and I discussed me having sex she said…"

"When you what?" he choked, his coffee mug thumping back down to the table, some of its contents splashing onto the table cloth.

"When we were talking about me having sex… you know sex, dad…that thing you had to do to get mom pregnant…" She bit down on her lip to stop laughing as she saw her father's face contort in five different ways.

Elliot's ability to respond was impeded by his brain's inability to process his daughter's words … he was a man who could handle most things in life but there were just some things he never wanted to acknowledge. Some boy touching his fifteen year old daughter in any way sexually was one of them.

He was saved from further analysis, by his youngest daughter who came running into the kitchen.

"Daddy!" she squealed holding out her arms knowing her dad would pick her up. He could never resist his baby's demands.

"Hello Molly," he said, smothering her in kisses.

"Mommy not wake up," she said, giggling from his tickles.

"No, mommy's asleep, she's tired," he explained, throwing her onto his hip and moving to the cupboard.

"But I shaked her and she still sleep," Molly said, pointing to the Cheerios.

"You shaked...shook her?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah," she said putting her hands on Elliot's head. "I goed 'mommy, mommy wake up'," she said shaking his head.

"And she didn't wake up?" he asked, handing his youngest daughter over to her sister. Molly shook her head. "Stay here!" he warned, looking directly at Liz.

Elliot ran upstairs to the bedroom, closing the door behind him. He sat on her side of the bed.

"Liv," he said gently, placing his hand on her shoulder and gently shaking her. There was no response. "Olivia," he said louder, shaking a bit harder. Still no response. He rolled her over onto her back and watched as her head rolled back, her eyes staying shut.

"Olivia, Olivia," he said frantically, quickly tapping the side of her face. She was still breathing but as he lifted her eyelid, he knew she was unconscious.

He pulled the quilt back up over her naked form as he called for Rick.

"Yeah dad?" he said coming to the door.

"Liv's unconscious," he said as calmly as he could. "I need you to call Mrs Embley and tell her you need to drop Molly off now, okay…tell her she hasn't had her breakfast and isn't dressed …okay?"

"Yeah, is mom okay?" he asked, concern etched across his face.

"She will be..." He grabbed Liv's cell off the bedside table and called for an ambulance before grabbing her nightgown discarded during the night and dressing her again.

"Dad!" Liz ran to the door. "What's going on?"

"Mom's unconscious, I've called for an ambulance… Rick's going to take Molly to Mrs Embley and then you two can go to school…" he said.

"You're kidding, right, dad? You expect us to go to school like nothing's happened?" she questioned, her face paling.

"Ok, stay here then and I'll call you as soon as I know anything. Help your brother with Molly – grab some clothes for her and take her to Mrs Embley's. I don't want her here when the bus arrives."

With his children dispatched, Elliot's attention returned to his wife. Grasping her hands he prayed hard for her to be alright, for the baby to be alright and for her to forgive him for causing this in the first place.

**bitsandpieces**

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**If you've read this far and didn't like it, why did you keep reading?**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, but I'm sure Mr Wolf won't mind.

**AN: Thanks for the wonderful reviews, I appreciate them so much.**

**For Carol, who's back reading and seeing things more clearly.**

**bitsandpieces**

**from the last chapter:**

"Liv's unconscious," he said as calmly as he could. "I need you to call Mrs Embley and tell her you need to drop Molly off now, okay…tell her she hasn't had her breakfast and isn't dressed …okay?"

"Yeah, is mom okay?" he asked, concern etched across his face.

"She will be..." He grabbed Liv's cell off the bedside table and called for an ambulance before grabbing her nightgown discarded during the night and dressing her again.

"Dad!" Liz ran to the door. "What's going on?"

"Mom's unconscious, I've called for an ambulance… Rick's going to take Molly to Mrs Embley and then you two can go to school…" he said.

"You're kidding, right, dad? You expect us to go to school like nothing's happened?" she questioned, her face paling.

"Ok, stay here then and I'll call you as soon as I know anything. Help your brother with Molly – grab some clothes for her and take her to Mrs Embley's. I don't want her here when the bus arrives."

With his children dispatched, Elliot's attention returned to his wife. Grasping her hands he prayed hard for her to be alright, for the baby to be alright and for her to forgive him for causing this in the first place.

**Chapter 5**

"Mr Stabler," a young intern said, coming into the waiting room. Elliot was on his feet instantly.

"Is she okay?" he asked quickly.

"I'm Dr Rebecca Anderson, come and we'll have a chat," she said, leading him into the family waiting room; a place he generally associated with bad things.

"What's wrong?" he asked, refusing the seat she was offering.

"Well, it seems your wife has sustained a hairline fracture of the skull right at the point of impact," the doctor began.

"I fractured her skull? Fucking hell!" he said, slumping into a chair.

"You did this?" she asked concerned.

Elliot looked up surprised. "NO! Yes…I mean…she was in my arms and I turned around too quickly and her head hit the door frame…oh god." He dropped his head fearing his stomach would spill its contents across the grey tiled floor.

"Are you okay, Mr Stabler?" she asked, moving to him.

"Yeah," he replied, looking up at the woman who couldn't have been much older than Maureen. "Is she awake? Is she going to wake up?"

"The CT scan showed…" she began.

"You CT'd her even though she's pregnant?" Elliot asked.

"We took all the precautions we could but your wife's health is our paramount concern at this time. The CT scan showed a build up of fluid around the site and this is impacting on her brain…" Dr Anderson explained.

"Her brain's bleeding?" he asked.

"Yes and there is a pooling of cerebral spinal fluid at the site. There's also bruising of the brain and no doubt her unconsciousness is due to a severe concussion. How long before you brought her in did the incident happen?" Dr Anderson asked.

"Um…she would have hit her head about two thirty and … um, I realised she was unconscious about seven," he explained.

"Did your wife lose consciousness at the time or fall asleep straight away?" she questioned.

"No, Liv said she was fine…she was a little stunned at the time but said it was alright…" Elliot recalled.

"Then you went to bed and …" Her voice trailed, an invitation for Elliot to continue.

"We…um...we made love. I said we shouldn't," he said in his own defence. "But she said she was fine and well… she started proceedings so I … I … um…"

'You went with the flow?" the doctor smiled.

"Um, yeah, something like that. Did that make matters worse?" he asked nervously… he had often joked to Olivia during a few of their more adventurous mornings, afternoons or nights of sex that their unbridled antics would be the death of one or the other one of them…now he feared it might come true.

"It wouldn't have helped. Sex increases the blood pressure, which increases the pressure on all parts of the circulatory system…it probably didn't cause the bleed but may have increased the volume." Dr Anderson made a few notes.

"I made her come, would that have hurt her?" he asked sheepishly.

Despite his intentions not to take matters too far in the early hours of the morning, Olivia had straddled him and gyrated in such a manner that had his heading spinning and his body screaming for release. Knowing he couldn't hold on much longer and knowing there'd be no repeat performance this time, he rolled them back over and slammed into her a couple of times sending her over the edge quickly.

"Did she say it did?" asked the doctor.

"No, she said it was really good," Elliot replied, a slight blush colouring his cheeks.

"If it had have hurt she would have told you," the doctor tried to reassure him.

"You don't know Olivia," he retorted. "She was once slashed across the throat and she still said she was good."

"Well, she's a fighter then, isn't she?" she remarked.

"Yeah." He nodded. "When will she wake up?"

"It's always hard to say with these things. It could be in the next five minutes, five days or five weeks," she said.

"Is there going to be any permanent damage?" he asked, his own head swirling.

"Way too early for us to say, Mr Stabler, we'll have to wait until she wakes up." Dr Anderson stood up.

"What about the baby?" Elliot asked.

"We had a fetal monitor attached to her and all seems well. We'll have an ultrasound done just to take a peek in there and double check, so right now junior's as good as can be expected…" she said, heading to the door.

"Right now?" Elliot questioned. "Does that mean there's a chance we'll lose the baby?"

"Let's just take this one step at a time…getting your wife conscious is the first thing we have to do. We'll continue to monitor the baby and make the best choices for both of them. Let me take you to them."

Elliot stopped at the door on his way into the trauma room; Olivia lay on the gurney, the white sheet pulled up across her chest highlighting the pallor of her skin. She had a range of machines attached to her and as a technician ran the Doppler across her abdomen, he could hear the comforting bleeps of his unborn child's heart. Finally, he allowed himself to breathe.

"You can go in, Mr Stabler," Dr Anderson said, touching his arm. "We're organising a room for her now but pull up a chair and sit with her awhile."

"Can I…um…" his voice trailed.

"You can touch her and hold her hand, you won't hurt her," the doctor said. "Just buzz if you need anything."

**EO bits and pieces EO**

It was three days later when Olivia finally woke up, but to Elliot it felt like three months. He was asleep, sitting forward in the chair, half slumped on her bed, holding her hand. But despite the heavy fog in Olivia's head as consciousness returned her first thought was how uncomfortable looked.

"Hey El," she croaked, her throat rasping and her mouth dry. He didn't respond so she tried again, squeezing his hand as tightly as she could.

He was awake.

"Olivia!"

He moved and fell off the bed; she didn't have the energy to laugh but managed to smile. He scrambled back up to her. "Olivia? Liv?"

"Hey baby," she groaned.

"Hey yourself," he whispered as his fingers ran through her hair before buzzing the emergency button.

"What happened?" she mumbled, gazing up at him, her eyes finding it difficult to focus anywhere quite yet.

"You're okay, Liv, you…" he began but was interrupted by a nurse coming in.

"What do you need, Mr Stabler?" she began before looking at Olivia and realising she was awake.

"Mrs Stabler, good to see you awake. How are you feeling?" she asked.

"How am I supposed to be feeling?" Olivia croaked.

"Probably just like you are right now," she said, patting her hand. "I'll get the doctor."

"So, how are you feeling, Mrs Stabler?" Elliot asked, climbing up alongside her in bed.

"Mrs Stabler?" she smiled. "Sounds good."

"It does," Elliot agreed, leaning in to kiss her forehead.

"Thought she'd have said Detective Benson though," Olivia said, trying to stifle a yawn.

"Why's that?" he asked concerned, she hadn't been a detective since New York.

"Well, I figure we're in Mercy, I probably got hurt on duty and they'd use Detective," she said wearily.

"Sweetheart, we're not at Mercy, we're…" he began but was interrupted by the doctor's arrival.

Elliot was asked to wait outside during her examination and took the opportunity to make a few calls. He hung up from his call to Kathleen when the doctor came out.

"Mr Stabler, a word," Dr Andrew Wendell said, waiting for Elliot to approach. "I've examined your wife and she seems to be doing fairly well…" he began.

"She thinks we are in New York," Elliot interrupted.

"She thinks it's August 2nd…" the doctor added.

"August 2nd, as in eight months ago?" he asked.

"Yes, Olivia is quite clear about the details of the 2nd, right down to you working late and her having a paediatrician's appointment for your youngest daughter. Is that correct?" Dr Wendell asked.

Elliot nodded. At the time it had just seemed like any other day, however it turned out it was the last day of normality and the outcome of August 3rd changed their lives forever; it had sparked their move to DC. Elliot guided the doctor away from the door and filled him in on the details. "Is this a permanent thing or will her memory return?" he asked.

"It's unclear at this stage but I am still anticipating a full recovery," the doctor said.

"Does she know she has amnesia?" he asked.

"She knows there are some gaps. She will ask you a lot questions and my advice is to answer them honestly…but at this stage only answer what she asks…don't overwhelm her with additional information," Dr Wendell advised.

**bitsandpieces**

**If you've read this far and liked it, please leave me a note.**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, but I'm sure Mr Wolf won't mind.

**AN: As many of you would be aware there was a recent glitch to the site, in case I wasn't notified of your review or in case you didn't get my reply, I'll take this opportunity to thank you here! This chapter is for all of you.**

**It's school holiday time and I am about to take a short vacation so I have doubled the size of this chapter to tide you over til I update. I will also be posting a one shot in the next day or so ... just for fun.**

**bitsandpieces**

**from the last chapter:**

Elliot was asked to wait outside during her examination and took the opportunity to make a few calls. He hung up from his call to Kathleen when the doctor came out.

"Mr Stabler, a word," Dr Andrew Wendell said, waiting for Elliot to approach. "I've examined your wife and she seems to be doing fairly well…" he began.

"She thinks we are in New York," Elliot interrupted.

"She thinks it's August 2nd…" the doctor added.

"August 2nd, as in eight months ago?" he asked.

"Yes, Olivia is quite clear about the details of the 2nd, right down to you working late and her having a paediatrician's appointment for your youngest daughter. Is that correct?" Dr Wendell asked.

Elliot nodded. At the time it had just seemed like any other day, however it turned out it was the last day of normality and the outcome of August 3rd changed their lives forever; it had sparked their move to DC. Elliot guided the doctor away from the door and filled him in on the details. "Is this a permanent thing or will her memory return?" he asked.

"It's unclear at this stage but I am still anticipating a full recovery," the doctor said.

"Does she know she has amnesia?" he asked.

"She knows there are some gaps. She will ask you a lot questions and my advice is to answer them honestly…but at this stage only answer what she asks…don't overwhelm her with additional information," Dr Wendell advised.

**Chapter 6**

As the nurse exited the room, Elliot went in.

"I'm back. Miss me?" he asked. She nodded slowly, giving him a sad smile. When he went to pull up the chair she shook her head and insisted he get into bed with her… something he could never refuse.

"You're okay, baby," he said gently kissing her forehead when he noticed the unshed tears filling her eyes. "You're okay." He lay down beside her and she nestled in close.

"I know," she said, gripping him tighter. "I've just lost the last eight months."

"They're not lost completely, Liv. Dr Wendell still thinks you'll get your memory back…you just have to give it time," he soothed, his fingers gently raking through her hair.

"You've got to tell me everything that's happened…everything," she pleaded, pulling on his shirt.

"I'll answer whatever you ask, baby," he whispered, kissing her forehead.

"Baby…" She looked up at him with a mixture of fear and surprise in her eyes. "The doctor said I'm pregnant, is that right?" she asked.

"Sure is, you're about two months and two weeks along," he said, tenderly rubbing her stomach.

"And is everything alright?" she whispered, searching his eyes for the truth.

"Everything is good," he reassured her, sweeping his thumb across her cheek.

"Are you happy about the baby?" she asked nervously.

"Ecstatic!" he grinned.

"And the kids, are they alright…with the baby … and everything else?" she asked hesitantly.

"They are good about the baby, I just spoke to them and they are so happy you're awake…" he said, rubbing her arm.

"El…" she paused. "Am I happy? About the baby?"

"Well, you only told me about an hour before you hit your head but I think we were as happy as each other. You having second thoughts now?" he asked, hooking his finger under her chin to stop her dropping her head.

"No, don't think so … just don't know how I feel about anything at the moment," she whispered, as tears escaped down her cheeks.

"Do you know how you feel about me?" he asked, almost scared to hear her answer.

She smiled through her tears; she never had to think about that answer. "I know I love you."

He pulled her closer. "And I love you too, Olivia Stabler." He kissed her head and left his lips lingering on her skin.

"So," she sighed deeply, "How did we end up living in DC?"

"We wanted to make some changes and DC seemed the best way to do it. I'm working in the Hoover Building …" he began.

"With the FBI?" she interrupted.

"Yep, went over to the dark side," he smiled, winking at her.

"And me?" she asked.

"You're working with abused kids at a place called Rainbow House…" he offered, entwining his fingers with hers and resting them on his chest.

"I'm not a cop?" she asked, her eyes tearing up at the thought.

"Neither of us are, baby" he replied gently.

"And I'm okay about it?" she asked quietly, not believing it to be possible.

"Yeah, it was your idea." Elliot gently caressed her head, trying to ease the pain and confusion he saw dancing in her eyes.

"Okay …" She wasn't convinced but knew Elliot had no reason to lie to her.

After a long pause she continued. "So, we've been living here in DC for six months?"

"Well, yeah. Actually, you've been here pretty much the whole time. I've been in New York for most of the last four months," he said quietly, not wanting to lie but not wanting to get into the painful truth.

"Huh?" she asked confused. "We moved here and then you went back to New York?" she paused, trying to fit the pieces together. Slowly she looked up at him as scared as hell. "Are we … were we … having ... um … problems?"

Elliot grinned and took her hand in his and tenderly rubbed it on her abdomen. "No, Livvy, there are no problems between us... junior here can attest to that." He kissed her cheek.

"Then why did you leave us?" she asked desperately trying to kick start her brain.

"I didn't leave you, baby, I'd never leave you; it was work. Don set up a task force to investigate Brock Montgomery, you remember him?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah, the squad had investigated him for years looking for something to get him on, right?" she asked.

"That's right, anyway, Don wanted one of us on it…" he started.

"So you volunteered?" she interrupted.

"Actually, you weren't thrilled by it but you volunteered … Rainbow House was fine with you going as you hadn't started your job yet… my boss wasn't exactly happy about it…" he continued.

"But didn't you say you were in New York?" She shook her head, it was fuzzy enough without the convoluted conversation they seemed to be having.

"Yes, honey. You went and lasted a week…so we swapped," he explained, resting his head on hers.

"What do you mean I lasted a week? What was wrong with me?" she asked concerned, trying to reposition herself to see his face.

"Nothing, baby, there was nothing wrong with you. Molly came down with a severe case of bronchitis just after you left and she only wanted you. You came home and she wouldn't let you go… so after a lot of discussion I went back in your place …" he said, wanting this conversation to end.

"That was very sweet of you to do that for her," Olivia said, kissing his hand.

"For her but more for you," he said, his fingers tangling through her hair once more.

"For me?" she questioned, trying to read his face.

"You had problems about going back there in the first place, and, when you came home to see Molly, I just couldn't be the one to make you go back," he said, tears welling in his eyes. He didn't want to answer anymore questions because he knew where it would lead them and he wasn't ready to go there – it had been hard enough to live through it the first time.

"So, why did I have a problem with New York?" she asked, her head starting to swirl. Elliot was slow to answer. "What was it, El? The kids? What?"

As he tried to find the right words the door burst open and four Stablers came in. Molly immediately climbed out of Maureen's arms and onto the bed with her parents, quickly grabbing onto Olivia and hugging her.

"Mommy," she cried.

"Hey Molly," Olivia whispered as Molly tiredly nuzzled her head into Olivia's neck and held onto her mother tightly. Elliot kissed his daughter's head as Liz came over and hugged and kissed Olivia as well.

"How are you feeling, mom?" she asked, her eyes darting between her parents.

"A little tired, a little dizzy but much better for seeing you guys," she smiled as she readjusted Molly's position.

Maureen came over and kissed her too. Olivia looked at her strangely for a moment. "What's wrong, mom?" she asked.

"Aren't you supposed to be in New York?" she asked, trying to keep things in place.

"Mo came to help out," Elliot explained, smiling at his eldest daughter.

"Thanks, Mo," Olivia said, reaching out to squeeze her hand.

"Anytime," Maureen replied.

"How are you, Dickie?" she asked as her reluctant stepson remained near the door.

"It's R…" he began but caught his father's glare. "I'm good thanks, Liv," he said, dropping his head. Olivia glanced at Elliot, they had given the kids the choice as to what they would call her and up until their marriage Maureen and Kathleen had called her Liv and Dickie and Lizzie had, for the most part, called her Mommy Liv. This had changed when Molly was born; the kids had a family meeting of their own and decided that for her sake, all children would call Olivia mom and not confuse their littlest sister.

Elliot went to speak but Olivia stopped him with a look, their non verbal communication skills as strong in their marriage as they had been in their working partnership.

She looked from one to the other; all looked different to her, all eight months older than her last memory of them. Maureen's blonde hair was shoulder length but in her mind she still had the close cropped hair she'd been sporting when they lived in New York. Dickie was inches taller and his hair was cropped short, Lizzie was taller with strawberry blonde streaks through her golden locks but it was in Molly Olivia saw the biggest difference. She was taller, her hair longer, her language more developed and she wasn't wearing diapers. It dawned on Olivia then that her daughter who was still snuggled in her arms was three and a half; one of her last memories was of putting Molly's third birthday party on the to-do list.

She couldn't fathom how she'd just lost eight months of her precious daughter's life … eight months of hugs and kisses and bedtime stories … eight months of just being her mommy.

A panic started rising up in her, a panic based on all the other memories she'd lost, the things she was supposed to know, like what they'd done for Molly's birthday and the twins too.

And then the reality struck that at this moment in time, she had no idea of where she lived, what school the kids went too, who looked after Molly when she was working…as each though struck her breathing quickened.

"Hey Liv, what's wrong?" said Elliot, trying to move Molly to give her more room to breathe but Olivia wouldn't relinquish her tight grip on the child. "Olivia, babe, let go of Molly," he said gently, trying to help Molly wriggled free.

"No," she gasped, each breath a struggle. "Can't."

Liz stepped away from the bed scared by what was happening, but Maureen had a much better idea. She had been in this position with Olivia before on a few occasions, except the roles were always reversed.

"Mom," she said quietly, trying to gain eye contact, "slow your breathing down." She sat on the bed in front of her and tried to hold her hands which were still wrapped around Molly. "Slow down, mom, just breath with me … in … and … out … in … and … out."

Olivia closed her eyes trying to follow Maureen's directions, her head spinning. "Mom, you're hyperventilating … you need to slow your breathing down … this isn't going to help your head … slow down." Olivia nodded, desperately trying not to freak out completely in front of her children.

"Now, mom, let go of Molly," she instructed as Molly's distress at her mother's grip and behaviour became more evident. "Dad will hold her … just let go …"

Slowly Olivia released Molly and Elliot, now standing beside the bed, picked her up and comforted the crying child. Olivia collapsed back into the pillows, her breathing still hurried and shallow, her head spinning rapidly.

"Is she okay?" Liz asked tearfully. Elliot looked across to find the twins flat against the wall, eyes full of fear. He couldn't answer.

"Yeah, she is guys, mom will be fine. Why don't you two take Molly and go to the cafeteria?" They both nodded but as Elliot went to give Molly to Rick, Olivia reached out to her.

"No! No! No!"

"It's okay, mom, she'll come back soon, I promise," Maureen soothed.

When they had departed, Elliot sat down on the opposite side of the bed to his daughter and faced his wife."What just happened, Livvy?" Elliot asked quietly.

Olivia went to speak but she couldn't, instead tears streamed down her face. She shook her head, exhausted by everything. "I think it was a panic attack," said Maureen, rubbing Olivia's arm. "Wasn't it, mom?" Olivia nodded and looked up at Elliot.

"What's wrong, baby?" he asked, his fingers caressing her face.

"I missed it all…" she said breathlessly.

"Missed what?" he asked, resting his hand on her cheek.

"The last eight months…" she cried.

"You didn't miss them, Liv, you just can't remember them. You've only missed three days…" he explained gently.

"Amnesia?" Maureen asked and Elliot nodded.

"But Molly turned three and the twins turned fifteen and…and…" she gasped, her breathing rate increasing again. Elliot changed positions and pulled her to him, kissing her head repeatedly.

"Don't do this again, baby, just breathe slowly," he ordered in a whisper. "Everything's okay, I promise you … it's all okay." He rubbed her back and kissed her again.

Her breathing slowed again and she slumped against him.

"Why don't I take the kids home and let you get some rest, mom?" Maureen said, standing up. Olivia shook her head against Elliot's chest.

"No," she mumbled. "Don't take them."

"Visiting hours are nearly over, Liv, and it's past Molly's bedtime," Elliot said gently.

"Can I say goodbye to them?" she pleaded.

"Sure, baby…"

When the kids had left and only Elliot remained, he climbed back into bed with her.

As he was drifting off she spoke. "What's happened since the start of August that I need to know?" she asked, trying to stifle a yawn.

Before Elliot could answer a nurse came in and reminded Elliot visiting hours were over and he needed to go. When he protested she reminded him that Olivia, and the baby, needed to rest and he could come back in the morning. Reluctantly, and after several long kisses, and promises to come back first thing he left and Olivia drifted off to sleep.

**bitsandpieces**

**If you've read this far and liked it, please leave me a note.**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, but I'm sure Mr Wolf won't mind.

**AN: I'm back! Thanks Laura! Enjoy!**

**bitsandpieces**

Two days later, more on Olivia's insistence than medical advice, she was discharged and allowed to return home. It was a familiar concept in itself but as she walked out of the hospital doors it struck her that she had no idea as to what vehicle she was looking for or where she was headed.

The day before, Elliot had filled her in on their address, new house phone number, the names of the twins' school, Molly's crèche and the place she worked. She had written it all down and studied it all night.

But right at this point in time she felt incredibly lost and disorientated.

Elliot laced his fingers through hers.

"You're doing alright, Liv…we'll do this one step at a time," he reassured her, pulling her closer and kissing her head as he led her across the car park to a burgundy SUV.

"This is ours?" she said curiously.

"Yep, ours and the bank," he replied, opening the rear door and throwing her bag in.

"Burgundy?" she questioned, looking from the vehicle to him.

Elliot grinned. "Burgundy, Liv… not my choice, yours."

"Mine? Really?" She stepped back and looked at it again. She had no idea why she would have chosen such a colour. "I do like it…" she said cautiously.

"I like it too," Elliot smiled, opening her door. "Now, what's say I take you home?"

Olivia took a deep breath and released it in a long sigh; Elliot took her hand and kissed it. "It'll be okay, Liv."

They drove along quietly for awhile, Elliot taking every opportunity to look at her, to reassure himself that she was well, or at least well enough to be discharged.

"This house…is it…um…burgundy too?" she finally asked, trying to get a mental picture of the place she had lived for six months but had no memory of.

"No, Liv, it's got terracotta sidings and cream trim," he replied, glancing over to her.

"Ok," she nodded, her eyes fixed somewhere beyond the windscreen.

"It's two storey with a double garage and huge basement," he added.

"Alright," she said.

"And it's…" he went to continue.

"No, stop!" she replied shaking her head. "Just let me see it." Her head was a mess; trying to figure out what she should know, what she didn't know, trying to force herself to remember and to pretend to be fine all at once was taking its toll.

Elliot took one look at his wife's distressed face and pulled over.

"Are we here?" she asked, looking for a terracotta house. "Is that it?" She pointed to a cream house with terracotta trim.

"No, baby, we're still five minutes away," he said gently, turning to face her. "I know this isn't easy for you, Liv … but I'm …"

"Don't say it, El … you're not in this with me, you can't really help me … I'm on my own," she sighed, closing her eyes and leaning against the headrest.

"Baby, I love you …" he whispered, moving in to kiss her, she backed away. "What's wrong, Liv?"

"This is going to sound stupid … because I know I've said this to you a couple of times already in the last two days … but I just need to check that, um … well … I know it was true eight months ago and … oh god …" her voice trailed and tears pricked her eyes.

"Yes, Liv, you love me too," he supplied and a look of relief spread across her face.

"Good," she said. "Because I was trying to figure out the whole us moving to DC in September when in August we hadn't even mentioned it and then you moving back to New York and me staying here and I thought maybe we … well, we might have been having problems and …"

Elliot moved across the seat and took her in his arms.

"Olivia, I love you more than I ever have, more than I ever thought possible … I can't say for certain, but I am 99 percent sure you love me too." He rubbed his hand over her still flat stomach. "And this little one is evidence of that." He kissed her twice before she wound her hands around his neck and pulled him tightly to her.

"I'm so scared, El," she whispered breathlessly into his neck, almost too afraid to speak.

Long ago, Elliot had learnt not to tell her not to be scared…if she was admitting it, it was a big thing and he always responded accordingly.

"What are you most scared of, Liv?" he asked, pulling back slightly.

"That I don't know who I am," she whispered.

"You are the same person you were in New York, baby," he said, moving his hand to gently caress her face..

"But I knew New York … I don't know what sort of person I am here. I don't know why I chose burgundy, I don't know why I'd choose DC. Hell, I don't know where the grocery store is. I don't know the neighbours. I don't know where we keep Molly's immunisation record," she said.

"We keep it in the same cupboard as her asthma medication," Elliot replied.

"Her WHAT?" Olivia shrieked, gripping him tightly. "She's asthmatic? How? When? How bad? Oh god!"

Elliot shook his head at his own stupidity in not remembering this was one of the things Olivia didn't know. "Honey, honey, sssh … She is not diagnosed as asthmatic yet…"

"Yet?" she shrieked again.

"Let me start again, okay?" he said, kissing her cheek. "Molly got quite sick with bronchitis a week after you went to New York, that was about four months ago. She still gets a little wheezy now and then and her paediatrician recommended we keep the medication on hand in case we need it. I think you've used it once since and that was last month when she had a cold, okay?"

"Okay … so I have no real reason to freak out like I've just done?" she asked more than relieved.

"You have every reason to freak out, you're her mom and you're worried about her… but our little girl is just fine," he said, squeezing her hands.

"Promise?" she whispered tearfully.

"I promise, baby."

EO..EO

"This is it," said Elliot as he pulled the SUV into the driveway of their home.

"Oh god, it's beautiful," gushed Olivia, as she took in the structure in front of her.

"That's what you said the first time we saw it … you fell in love with it instantly, which was a relief as we'd already looked at seventeen." He climbed out and retrieved her bag before making his way around to her. Taking her hand he helped her out of the vehicle and led her inside, smiling as he watched her face light up with every little feature she saw. The exact same response he witnessed the very first time they'd inspected the house.

After depositing her bag inside the front door he gave her a guided tour of the house and answered most of the hundred questions she had. Some were easier than others … he knew the cupboard which housed the glasses, and the one which held the canned food. He knew whose bedroom was whose and what stuff they kept in the hall cupboard.

What he didn't know was where she'd put the photo albums, where the camera was, why she had shoes she didn't recognise or why there wasn't a photo of the squad amongst the family pictures in the sitting room. Elliot couldn't answer her then but reassured her they would figure it out together.

After trying to familiarise herself with the house she came back to Elliot in the kitchen and smiled when she saw him pouring coffee.

"Mmmmm," she said, picking up the mug on the counter.

"Nope," he said, taking it off her and handing her a cup of tea.

"What do you mean nope?" she said, inhaling deeply.

"Baby," he said, pointing to her stomach. "You didn't have caffeine during Molly's pregnancy; I'm guessing you don't want to do it this time either."

"Oh yeah, I'm pregnant," she said, looking down. "I've got to remember that." Picking up her tea she sat down at the table before looking up at Elliot nervously. "Promise me you'll tell me everything … the good and the bad?"

"I will, Liv…and if you want to know or are unsure, just ask, okay?" he said kissing her head before sitting alongside her. There was so much she wanted to know… so much she was unsure of she didn't know where to start. So she just nodded.

**bitsandpieces**

**If you've read this far and liked it, please leave me a note.**

**If you read Proposal ... check out Proposal B... **


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, but I'm sure Mr Wolf won't mind.

**AN: Thanks Laura, BTW I told you so! You need to put your best foot forward!**

**bitsandpieces**

Olivia stirred only minutes after she fell asleep. Not thinking anything of it she rolled over and drifted off, only to stir again minutes later. When it happened for a third time she was suspicious and casually rolled back over to face Elliot, feigning sleep. About five minutes later she felt his breath on her face, not his breathing but long puffs of air being directed straight at her.

"What are you doing, El?" she asked, her eyes popping open.

"Nothing," he said in surprise.

"You were blowing in my face," she said.

"No I wasn't," he protested.

"And before you knocked into my back…" she continued,

"No, I … well, I did…it was an accident," he fumbled.

"Why are you trying to keep me awake?" she asked.

"I'm not trying to keep you awake," he replied innocently.

"Then what are you doing?" she asked pulling herself up so she was now half sitting.

'Nothing." He went to turn away but she grabbed his arm and wrapped it around her. It was the only encouragement he needed to move to her and rest his head on her breast and hold onto her.

"Elliot Stabler, don't lie to me," she said gently, raking her fingers through his hair. "We've been in bed…" She glanced at the clock. "An hour and I don't think I've fallen into a deep sleep yet. You've had something to do with that, haven't you?"

He nodded.

"El, you know I need to sleep, don't you?" He nodded again. "You also know that if I go to sleep I am going to wake up, don't you?" He didn't acknowledge her comment. "El, you know that, right?"

When he failed to answer, she drew his face up to hers and saw the pools of tears flooding his blue eyes. "I don't know that," he whispered.

Olivia shuffled down in the bed and held close to him.

"El, talk to me," she said, kissing him gently.

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Liv," he mumbled into her neck. "I'm so sorry."

"What for?" she asked.

"I did this to you … my fault you hit your head … my fault you lost your memory …" he confessed.

"I thought we'd gone through this at the hospital. I don't blame you, El. It was an accident," she soothed.

"An accident I caused," he admitted.

"I bet you I wasn't unwilling, was I?" He shook his head. "I don't know if I've told you before but I find it incredibly sexy when you pick me up and carry me to bed," she cooed, kissing his ear.

"Yeah?" he questioned, a smile dancing on his lips.

"Yeah, and given we hadn't been together in nearly two and a half months and knowing how hard it is for me to keep my hands of you for even two minutes, I can understand how much of a hurry we were in …"

"Yeah?" His smile widened.

"Yeah. You know what I don't know though?" she asked, running her hands up under his beater.

"What?"

"I don't know why we are not making love right now." She pulled the beater over his head.

Elliot pressed his body against hers. "Because the doctor said no."

"Oh yeah, that's right," she conceded. "So, we just get to _sleep_ together."

"Yeah, but it is what you need," he replied, his fingers caressing her arm.

"Okay, El, then you need to let me sleep. You can't keep waking me up to make sure I'm not unconscious," she said, kissing his forehead.

"It wasn't what I was doing," he protested.

"Sure it wasn't," she grinned.

"Okay, it was what I was doing … I just … well, I had to be sure … you know?"

"Yeah, baby, I do. Come here?" she said, and wrapped herself around him. "You just go to sleep first, El and remember I'll be fine." He tried to resist but she cradled his head and held him tightly to her, a method she had found worked well very early in their relationship, especially when he was overly tired and completely resisting sleep. Short of wild and passionate sex, this was the next best way to induce sleep for him.

Dawn had broken when Elliot awoke; he looked up to find Olivia sitting in bed, her knees drawn up to her chest with her arms wrapped tightly around them. Her head was resting on her knees and she was looking strangely at him, tears streaming down her face.

"Baby, what is it?" he asked reaching out for her but she moved away. "Olivia?" She climbed out and stood by the side of the bed as he took her hand and moved over towards her, before sitting on the edge. She didn't pull away but she didn't move back to him either. He kissed her hand and arm before gently tugging it. "Come back to me, baby," he soothed and, when she did, she stood in front of him crying. He moved to wipe away her tears only to have her try to back away from his touch. "What?" he asked trying to follow her gaze.

"When ... when did you get sh...shot?" she whispered, a sob choking her voice. Her fingers traced the bullet wound two inches below his right shoulder.

"Eight months ago," he said, kissing her fingers. "It was a through and through, no permanent damage." He moved his body so she could see the exit wound scar.

"What happened?" she asked, more tears tumbling.

"A case …" he started.

"Mommy!" Molly burst into the room.

"Hey pumpkin," Olivia said, quickly wiping her eyes and plastering a smile on her face before scooping up her daughter. "How's my little angel today?" she asked, smothering the child in kisses.

"Good, mommy," she replied, squeezing her pudgy arms around Olivia's neck. "I hungry."

"Well, let's get you some breakfast then," Olivia said, turning to the door.

Elliot put his hand out to stop them. "How about me?" he asked standing up. "Don't I get any hugs or kisses?" He pouted.

Molly stretched away from her mother to hug her father. He took her and she smothered his head with sloppy kisses. "Hi Molly," he said, hugging her and kissing her head. Olivia went to move away. "What about from you, Liv? Any hugs and kisses for me?" he asked quietly as Molly played with his ear.

Still fighting her tears she stepped into him and buried her face in the crook of his neck. With one arm around him and the other around their daughter, she tried to compose herself.

"Love you, Liv," he whispered as he kissed her head.

"Love me too!" squealed Molly, trying to hug both parents and once.

"I love you too, Molly," he said kissing his daughter. "Now, breakfast…" He went to move but realised Olivia wasn't quite ready to let go when she gripped him tighter and more tears splashed onto his bare skin. He eased his daughter down. "Molly, go ask Mo to get your breakfast," he said, gently pushing her towards the door.

"Cheerios?" asked Molly

"Yes, you can have Cheerios," he said, wrapping both arms around Olivia, holding her tightly and gently swaying.

While it was true the shooting was eight months earlier and they had moved on with life, he had to remember for Olivia it had just happened and it was day one on her road to coping with it. He knew how hard it had been for her at the time and just how tightly she'd held him when it was all over. "Liv," he said gently. "I'm okay … I promise." He kissed her head and felt her nod. He ran his hands from her back to her face and eased it back before kissing her tenderly, deepening it at her insistence. "I'm good," he soothed as she pulled back.

"I know," she whispered. "But… "

"But what?" he prompted, brushing back her hair.

"If you hadn't of been … if you had of died … then I wouldn't be pregnant and Molly wouldn't have a dad and the rest of the kids would be orphans and … and… and…" she gasped.

"Stop!" he commanded softly. "I didn't die…"

"But if…" she began.

"But nothing … it didn't happen. We talked about all that at the time and that's when we made the decision to move … change of career … we both wanted to be around for the kids and for each other, okay?" he tried to reassure her.

She nodded before allowing herself to fall deeply into his arms and being engulfed by him. "I love you so much, Elliot," she mumbled into his chest.

"And I love you, Olivia."

**bitsandpieces**

**If you've read this far and liked it, please leave me a note.**

**If you read Proposal ... check out Proposal B... **


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, but I'm sure Mr Wolf won't mind.

**AN: Thanks Laura, sending you lots of love and hugs for a speedy recovery!**

**bitsandpieces**

Mid afternoon and Olivia sat at the kitchen table leafing through old mail and receipts, hoping something ... anything ... would trigger her memory ... it didn't.

"Hi Lizzie," Olivia said as the twins came home from school.

"Hey mom," Liz replied briefly hugging her.

"Did you have a good day?" she asked as Liz dropped her bag on the floor near the door. Rick walked through barely acknowledging anyone.

"Hi Dickie," Olivia said, studying him.

"Hi," he grunted, not daring to correct her after his father had ripped shreds off him yesterday for doing it. He continued through the kitchen.

"What's up with him?" Olivia asked Liz.

"Dunno, he's been like that all day … all week … he's just a huge pain in the a…"

"Liz!" Olivia cut her off sharply.

"Well, he is…" she protested.

"Mommy, Rick pushed me," Molly called, running into the kitchen.

"Did he? Why?" asked Olivia, shifting in her chair to face her youngest child.

"Don't know." She held her arms out, waving them until Olivia picked her up.

"Because he's a sh…" Liz began.

"Liz!" cautioned Olivia.

"What's going on?" Elliot asked coming up from the basement into the kitchen.

"Rick was mean," Molly complained holding her arms out to her father.

"Was he, pumpkin?" Elliot asked gently, scooping the little girl from her mother's arms.

"He's 'ways mean," said Molly, grabbing Elliot's ear.

"You can say that again," muttered Liz, slumping into the chair beside Olivia.

"Well, why don't I just go and have a chat with Rick then?" Elliot said putting his daughter down.

"Why is Dickie Rick?" Olivia asked looking from Liz to Elliot.

Molly giggled, "His name, silly." She ran off to play.

"Why don't you explain it to your mom, Liz, and I'll speak to that brother of yours?"

Elliot left and Olivia turned around to face Liz. Maureen walked in and saw their serious faces. "What's going on?"

"Your sister is going to explain to me why your brother has changed his name," Olivia said, pointing to the chair next to Liz.

Maureen sat down and let Liz explain the whole story. Olivia was surprised by the change but said she understood why they needed to. Liz laughed. "That's exactly what you said the first time!" she said.

"Well, at least I'm consistent," she said sighing. "What else do I need to know about you guys?"

Liz gave Olivia a brief run down on the last eight months and Maureen did the same.

"How's Kathleen going?" she asked, wishing she had her notepad to record all the new information, knowing she would most likely forget some of it.

"She's fine," said Maureen. "Nothing new since you spoke to her last…" Her voice trailed as she looked at Olivia. "You mean in the last eight months, don't you?" Olivia nodded.

Further conversation was curtailed by yelling and the slamming of doors before Elliot stormed into the kitchen and banged his hands down on the counter. A quick look between Liz and Maureen was all it took before they disappeared from view.

"What's wrong, Elliot?" Olivia asked, moving to him and running her hand in large circles on his back.

"Teenagers," he grunted. Olivia moved around and lifted his arm, slipping between him and the counter.

"Talk," she commanded, as she raised her hands and massaged his temples. "What's up with Dickie … Rick?"

"He's just a stubborn ass," he grumbled, his hands sliding around her waist.

"Like his daddy?" she asked, keeping his head steady.

"Humph," he grunted, his eyes not daring to make contact just yet.

"Are you going to tell me?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah, later," he said, trying to figure out exactly was wrong with their son. "I just need …"

She draped her arms lazily around his neck and kissed him tenderly.

"You just needed that," she grinned.

Elliot's hands slipped to her butt and he squeezed gently, returning her grin. "Yeah, I did."

The following morning, with the twins gone to school, and Elliot called into a meeting at the Bureau, Maureen and Olivia sat at the kitchen table while Molly played on the floor nearby.

"When do you have to go back, Mo?" Olivia asked, playing with her teacup.

"Trying to get rid of me?" she asked, grinning.

"Never. Just thought you may have to be going soon," Olivia said, somewhat sadly.

"Actually, I've been in contact with my editor and I can get my internship transferred to DC," she said, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Really?" Olivia asked hopefully, knowing she shouldn't need Maureen as much as she did but eternally grateful the young woman had come to help.

"Yep," she grinned, glad to be back with family, even if it was under such circumstances.

"But I thought you were happy in New York. Why would you transfer?" Olivia questioned, wanting to make sure it was what was right for Maureen too.

"Because I miss you guys … well, most of the time. I should be able to do the next three months here and help you out," Maureen explained.

"I appreciate it, Mo, but I don't want you to change your life because of me," she said quietly.

"You changed your life because of me … well, us. You dropped everything when mom died, you gave everything up to make sure me and the kids and dad were okay …" Maureen said, reaching out for her mom's hand.

"I never considered it a sacrifice," Olivia interrupted.

"I don't consider this one either," Maureen smiled.

After lunch, with Molly in bed asleep, Olivia made her way into the sitting room and studied all the cards and flowers she had received after her accident. She read through each card one by one, wanting to record their names so she could send thank you notes. Looking for a note pad, she opened a drawer in the dresser.

She smiled, spying a handful of photos. She didn't recognise when they were from ,but leafing through them, she realised it was Molly's third birthday. She sniffled, causing Maureen to look up from the arm chair.

"You okay?" she asked and Olivia nodded, she could do this it was just a matter of taking things one step at a time.

Her eyes fixed on the last photo in the pile, one not taken at the party but at their wedding when she was six months pregnant with Molly. She smiled at the memory of the day and that it was still intact. It had been an intimate affair, Olivia, Elliot, the four children, the squad, Simon and his family. The photo had Olivia and Elliot in the centre and they were surrounding by Don, Munch, Fin, Casey, George and Melinda.

She looked around the room at the flowers and cards once more.

"Mo," she said, "I know this might sound strange but is there a reason I haven't heard from Fin these last few days. No card or flowers or phone call. Not even a text message."

She watched the colour drain from Maureen's face and watched as the young woman tried to cover up her response. "Um … did you ask dad?"

"No," she replied. "I'm asking you?" Watching as her eldest daughter averted her eyes and nervously twisted her hair.

"Well, I … um … it's just that …" she stumbled, looking at everything but Olivia.

"Maureen, whatever it is tell me. If I already knew it then I deserve to know now, don't I?" Maureen nodded but didn't answer. "Mo?" she said in a sterner voice.

"Um … you know how dad got shot?" she began slowly, trying to figure out the right words to use. Olivia nodded. "Well, Fin got shot at the same time too." She shuffled her feet and her eyes darted to the door, hoping her father would appear.

"And?" she said impatiently.

"And, well, it was pretty serious and he … um … um … he didn't make it," Maureen all but whispered.

"He what?" Olivia croaked, tears filling her eyes.

"I'm sorry, mom," Maureen said, coming to her. "Fin died." Olivia began to shake uncontrollably and Maureen threw her arms around her. "I'm so sorry," she repeated again and again as she held her tightly and cried with her.

"Why you cry, mommy?" Molly interrupted, standing at the door rubbing her eyes.

"Mommy's just a little tired," Maureen replied, picking up her sister.

"Mommy need nap," Molly said, leaning in to kiss her mom.

"That's a good idea, Molly. Mom, why don't you go lie down for a while? I'll take this one to the park," Maureen suggested. Olivia nodded. "Will you be okay, or do you want me to wait til dad gets back?"

"I'll be okay, you go now," she said kissing them both, before wiping away the stream of tears. "And thanks, honey, I needed to know."

As Maureen and Molly departed, Olivia picked up the photo which had started it all. She walked into the bedroom, lay down on her bed and clutched the photo and a pillow to her chest and sobbed. Fin was dead and although it had happened eight months previous, in Olivia's mind she'd only seen him the other day, he was her partner, they'd had drinks at Murphy's, they'd laughed all night and now he was dead.

Dead!

Halfway down the street the girls waved down Elliot, who was driving home.

"How are my favourite girls?" he grinned, lowering the window.

"Good, daddy," called Molly.

"But you need to check on your other favourite girl," Maureen said earnestly, nodding back to the house.

"What's up?" he asked, looking up to their house.

"She knows about Fin."

**bitsandpieces**

**If you've read this far and liked it, please leave me a note.**

**If you read Proposal ... check out Proposal B... **


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, but I'm sure Mr Wolf won't mind.

**eoeoeobitsandpieceseoeoeoe**

"Olivia? Olivia?" Elliot yelled the minute he was in the house. She lay still in her bed and listened to his voice getting closer and closer. When she heard him on the stairs she couldn't wait any longer, she jumped off the bed.

"Olivia?" he called as she opened the door. "Baby?'

She ran at him, forcing him backwards with her momentum, he tumbled over bringing her down with him.

"Liv, it's okay, it's okay," he soothed sitting up and pulling her too him. She sobbed and nodded at the same time. "Hey, baby, shh!" He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head.

"Fin's dead!" she sobbed.

"I know, Liv."

"He was shot."

"I know, Liv."

She pulled back. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"The doctor said not …"

She began slapping at his chest. "Fuck the doctor! What about me? He is my friend … was my friend … I have, had, a right to know."

"I know you do, baby. And you did know …" he began, grabbing her hands.

"But you knew I didn't remember," she sobbed hitting him again.

"There's a lot you don't remember, Liv, it's a matter of you learning about it over time, not in one go," he said quietly, trying to soothe her, it had the opposite effect.

Olivia looked up at him incredulously. "What else don't I remember? Who else is dead? Who??" she screamed.

"No, Liv, shh," he said trying to placate her. "No one else is dead, I promise, baby, I didn't mean it like that!"

The back door opened and he heard the twins come in. "Liv, let's go into the bedroom," he whispered. He stood up and tried to get her to stand up with him, but she wouldn't cooperate. He bent down and scooped her up, he'd taken one step before he froze, letting her legs drop down. He'd vowed to himself he'd never carry her again.

"I trust you," she sobbed into his neck. He lifted her up again and carried her into their bed, kicking the door shut behind them. He laid them both on the bed and kissed her repeatedly declaring his love for her over and over again.

In time, Olivia started responding to him, kissing him back. She gradually sat up and ran her fingers through his hair.

"So, what happened with Fin?" she asked. "And don't dare leave out anything," she added digging her pointed finger into his chest.

Elliot sat up beside her and put his arms around her.

"It was the Emmet Forrester Case and …" Elliot began.

"He had raped and murdered four co-eds on their birthdays…" Olivia said, remembering the case.

"Yeah and …" he continued.

"I was working that case with Fin," she interrupted.

"Yeah, you were baby." He kissed her head.

"You and Fin went to his apartment to arrest him, Munch and I went as back-up, along with a few uniforms. You and Fin went in first, followed by Munch, then me. Forrester pulled a gun, you went one way, Fin went the other and all hell broke loose. There were shots fired, turns out there was a second perp there, Curt Harding. In the end Fin was shot, I was shot and so was Forrester.

"Forrester dead?" she queried, her brow furrowed.

"Yeah, Liv," Elliot nodded.

"And Fin?" Olivia asked, not wanting it to be true.

"Yeah," he nodded again.

"But not you?" she checked, cursing her brain for being so muddled.

"No, baby, I'm right here," he reassured her, squeezing her tighter and kissing her head.

She sighed deeply. "Did we go to the funeral?"

"Yeah, and it was a good one, as far as they go. Very Fin," Elliot said. "He would have liked it … well, you know what I mean," he amended.

"Good," she sighed, brushing away her tears. "How did we deal with it?"

"Well, we had a long talk about it the day after it all happened and decided we didn't want to take the chance of it happening again. It wasn't fair on the kids, so we moved here," Elliot reported, running his hand up and down her arm.

"Aha," she nodded, none of it sounding familiar in the least. "How did the others deal?"

"Munch retired…" Elliot began.

"Really?" she interrupted, pulling on his shirt as she gained eye contact with him.

"Yeah, said it wouldn't be the same without the three of us there and he may as well move on," he replied, moving his hand to caress her cheek, trying to take away some of the fear and confusion he saw in her deep brown eyes.

Elliot paused for a few moments, trying to give Olivia time to process the information. His hand slipped down her arm and she entwined her fingers with his.

"Keep going," she whispered through her tears.

"Cragen's still there but he's retiring the first of June. He took it pretty hard, but he won't talk about it," Elliot said, saddened he could do nothing to ease the pain of his friend and former boss.

"I can't believe he's dead," she sighed. "It just doesn't seem possible."

"I know, baby, and I've had eight months to come to terms with it," he replied, kissing her head and she nestled back into him again.

There was a long silence. "Who shot who?" she asked, needing the details.

Before he could answer there was a soft rap on the door.

"Come in," Elliot called, grateful for the short reprieve at least..

"Hey," Maureen said, coming into the room and closing the door behind her. "I just thought I'd check on things. See how you were going, mom?"

Olivia smiled sadly at her eldest daughter but didn't answer.

"Mom's doing okay, it's just a bit hard," Elliot explained, stroking Olivia's hair.

"Well, the kids are asking about dinner and I was going to take them out, give you some more time. Is that okay?" she asked, looking from one parent to the other.

"It's a great idea, thanks Mo," smiled Elliot. "Take the cash," he said, tossing his wallet to her.

"Thanks," Olivia mouthed.

Maureen smiled when she heard a familiar padding coming towards the room. "Oh yeah," she said, "somebody wanted to see you before we went out."

Molly flung the door open and spied her parents on the bed. Never one to be left out of a hug she climbed on top of her father and grabbed onto both of them, squeezing hard.

"I'll come back and get her in five," Maureen said, leaving the room.

"Mommy sad," Molly said, patting Olivia's face.

"Yeah, pumpkin," Olivia nodded, trying not to cry.

Molly pouted and looked at her dad. "Make mommy happy," she commanded.

"I'm trying, Molly," he said, kissing his wife's head.

"Try 'gain, punkin" she said, repeating the words Olivia had said to her many times.

"I will," Elliot promised, kissing his daughter's head. "I will."

When the kids had departed and the house fell quiet, Olivia sat up.

"Where are you going?" he asked, taking her hand.

"Nowhere," she said, straddling him and unbuttoning his shirt.

"Hey, what are you doing?" he asked, stilling her hand with his.

"I'm making love to you," she said, bluntly, pushing his hand aside and taking the next button up.

"No, Liv, no sex … the doctor advised …" he began.

"I don't care…" she replied tugging his sleeve off his arm.

"Yes, you do," he said, cooperating with her actions.

"I'm making love to you, deal with it, El!" she said firmly.

"Liv, I know you're sad and I know why you're doing this but…" he tried to explain.

"Shut up, Elliot!" She pulled off the other sleeve before taking off his beater.

"You want to feel something other than pain, baby," he explained as she unbuckled his belt. "You want to feel alive." He used all his willpower not to respond to his overwhelming desires.

She tugged at his pants, getting frustrated at him when he wouldn't cooperate, so he did.

When his trousers and boxers were discarded she straddled him again and began undressing herself.

"But you know this isn't the right thing to do, don't you, Liv?" She grunted as her shirt hit the floor and she removed her bra.

She moved to the side and pushed down her sweats before kicking them off altogether.

"Make love to me, Elliot," she growled as he made no move to touch her.

"No Liv, I won't," he said sternly.

"Yes, you will." She repositioned herself.

"Olivia!" he said firmly. "Sex is not good for you right now. The doctor said to wait another week or so."

She leant down and started kissing him.

"Your body is responding to an emotional need but we risk doing physical harm if we do this," he continued, trying to sound detached.

"Elliot, just shut up and make love to me," she sobbed, hitting his chest.

"Liv, you know I've never said no to you … god, I'd be an idiot. So you gotta trust me when I say we can't do this…" His hands moved up her back to her shoulders before pulling her down to him. "I love you so much, Liv and I am not going to do anything that will hurt you … and I'm not going to let you do it either," he said, trying to hold her still.

She fisted his chest a few times in frustration. "Sssh," he soothed as she finally succumbed and collapsed onto him. "It's okay, Livvy, it's okay, baby."

"It's damn well not okay," she yelled scrambling off him, slapping away his hand as he went to pull her back.

He followed her into the bathroom before she could shut the door on him. "Leave me alone," she yelled, sitting on the edge of the bath.

"Not going to do that either," he said, leaning against the basin.

"Elliot, please," she begged, tears streaming down her face. "I just need to get my head together … give me some time …" She dropped her head into her hands and rested her elbows on her knees.

"Sure," he said, sitting down beside her, running his hand over her back.

"Alone," she added, shifting away from him. He shook his head. "Please, Elliot … just go and leave me alone."

He studied her for a moment and realised there were just some things he couldn't fix. "You've got ten minutes," he said, standing and kissing her head.

Elliot was lying on the sofa, dressed in sweats, when Olivia came out to him forty minutes later. While he was pretending to be relaxing, the truth was he had stood outside the bathroom for the first fifteen minutes and listened to her cry. When she turned the shower on he got dressed before listening to her again. Desperate to go into her, he restrained himself and simply knocked on the door.

"You doing okay, Liv?" he called, only opening the door slightly.

"Aha," she managed and he knew she was still crying.

"You want me to do anything for you?" he asked.

"Uh uh," she replied.

"Okay then, baby. I'll be downstairs when you're ready," he said.

"Mmmha," she replied. He shut the door and left her alone.

"Hey, Livvy," he called, moving to get up when she came in.

She came to him. "Don't get up," she whispered, lying down with him. Nestling herself as close to him as she could, she rested her head on his chest, content for now just to hear his heart beat and know she hadn't lost him too. And as she ran her hand over her abdomen, she smiled; glad she hadn't lost the chance to have this new little one either.

Kissing her head, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. He couldn't help but smile. This was how they had spent his first night home from the hospital in New York.

Their serenity lasted little more than twenty minutes when they heard the car pull into the driveway.

"Can't let them see me like this," Olivia mumbled as she got up and went upstairs before the kids came into the house. It was left to Elliot to answer the questions from his daughters about their mother.

"Can we see her?" Liz asked in the end.

"Look, I don't think…" he began before looking at the three faces in front of him. "How about you just go in to say goodnight?" he suggested. They agreed and went upstairs.

Elliot looked at Rick who had been conspicuous with his silence. "You not interested in your mother's wellbeing?" he asked.

"It happened eight months a…" he retorted.

"Not to your mom …" he interrupted

"She'll get over it, she already did it once," he snapped, picking up the remote and turning the TV on.

"What is your problem?" Elliot replied angrily, turning the TV off.

"Nothing," he muttered.

"Like hell it's nothing," he spat.

"You wouldn't care anyway," Rick yelled before storming up the stairs to his room.

"What's his problem now?" asked Maureen coming into the room.

"I've got no idea," growled Elliot. "You?"

Maureen shook her head. "Want me to go talk to him?"

"No," replied Elliot. "Leave him alone. I'll speak to him tomorrow. How's Liv?"

"Well, at the moment she's snuggled up in bed with Liz," Maureen smiled wistfully. "Just like last time."

The night Fin had been killed and Elliot was in hospital, it was Liz who curled up in their bed to comfort her stepmother, mirroring Olivia's actions on Lizzie's first night back home after Kathy had died.

"Where's Molly?" Elliot asked, exhaustion creeping across his face.

"I put her to bed but she's expecting a kiss from you," she said.

"Thanks Mo," Elliot said, hugging and kissing his daughter. "Have I told you how much it means to have you here?"

"Yeah, once or twice," she replied, kissing his cheek. "You and mom eaten?" He shook his head. "You go up and I'll see what I can find."

"Don't think mom will eat," he said heading out the door.

Elliot's first stop was Molly's room and he smiled as his daughter sat up in bed and stretched out her arms out for him.

"Loves daddy," she cooed waiting for his loving kisses and tickles which he bestowed on her every night. He picked her up, cradling her in his arms before blowing raspberries on her belly; the little girl giggled and wriggled in his arms.

"Bedtime, pumpkin," he said eventually laying her in her bed. He tucked her in tightly and flicked on her bedside lamp. "This is a goodnight kiss from me," he said kissing her forehead. "And this one is from mommy." He kissed her again. Every night of her short life, Molly had received two kisses, in the past few months it had been Olivia giving both kisses but the little girl didn't mind who was doing the kissing so long as there was one from each of them.

Elliot eased her door shut and headed to his bedroom. He was surprised to find Olivia asleep with Liz curled into her.

"Hey, baby girl," he whispered moving to the bed.

"She's asleep," Liz whispered back.

"I see that." He tousled his daughter's hair. "Thanks for being here for her."

"She was there for us when we needed her most," Liz said, easing herself from the bed. "You going to take care of her?"

"Sure am, baby," he said, kissing her head as she passed him.

By the time Olivia woke up Elliot was sound asleep, still lying on top of the quilt dressed in his sweats. She looked to the bedside table and saw the half eaten sandwich and open can of soda, it was then her stomach rumbled and she glanced at the clock realising it was at least twelve hours since she'd last eaten. Slowly, she eased his arm from over her waist and sat up carefully, her head still needing time to adjust.

"Where are you going, baby?" Elliot asked, only one eye opened.

"Go back to sleep, El," she whispered, standing up.

"Humph," he mumbled as he drifted off again. She made her way to the bathroom, when the door clicked shut Elliot awoke again, feeling for her in the empty bed beside him.

She took her time in the bathroom and was surprised, when she emerged that he was standing outside the door waiting for her.

"What's wrong, El?" she asked, noting the concern on his face.

"Nothing. Are you okay?" he asked, putting his arms around her neck.

"Yeah, I am." She kissed his cheek. "I'm just going to get something to eat."

"You go back to bed, I'll get it for you," he offered.

"El, I can do it myself," she said moving past him and heading into the hallway.

"Well," he grinned, following her out, "you can make me something too."

**eoeoebitsandpieceseoeoeoe**

**If you've read this far and liked it, please leave me a note.**

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	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, but I'm sure Mr Wolf won't mind.

**eoeoeobitsandpieceseoeoeoe**

The following afternoon, Elliot was in the yard playing with Molly, Maureen was in her room working, Liz and Rick were both in the sitting room, she was listening to her Ipod and he was playing PS3. Olivia was in her room feeling a little off colour, she couldn't pinpoint the cause of it. She knew it was probably a bit to do with the baby, something to do with her injury and a lot to do with the pain she felt at Fin's death. She lay on her bed, one hundred and one thoughts racing around her addled brain.

Soon she heard raised voices from the sitting room below. She tried to ignore it but when she heard glass break she was off the bed and down the stairs, Maureen just two steps behind her.

"Look what you've done, you ass," Liz screeched, waving at the broken vase.

"Shut up," Rick yelled back.

"You don't give a shit about mom, do you? Can't you give her a break?" she spat, throwing her Ipod onto the sofa.

"Oh, she'll get over it, idiot, she did last time," he growled, returning his attention to his game controller.

"You're such an asshole, she's really upset about the shooting, you know dad and Fin…" Lizzie yelled, completely frustrated by her brother and his recent antics.

"That's not my fault, she's the one who shot him …" He turned around at the sound of Olivia's gasp.

Olivia looked from one twin to the other, her colour draining completely and hands trembling, they were both too stunned to talk.

"Mom," Maureen said coming to her and putting an arm around her shoulder. "It's okay."

Olivia shook her head. "No … no, it's not … it's not." She shrugged free and picked up Elliot's discarded jacket from the back of the sofa.

"Where are you going?" Maureen asked as Olivia almost ran to the front door.

"Out!" she called, having no idea as to where she was headed.

"I'll come with you," Maureen offered, moving towards Olivia, knowing she was in no state to leave the house alone.

"No, don't." Olivia slammed the door behind her and took off quickly down the street.

"Who slammed the door?" Elliot asked, walking into the sitting room with Molly on his hip.

"Mom," Maureen replied, staring at the twins.

"Why?" he asked, looking at the twins.

"Rick just told her she shot you …" Liz offered.

"Fuck!" muttered Elliot.

"Fuck!" mimicked Molly.

Elliot looked at his youngest daughter. "Don't say that, pumpkin," he cautioned.

"You sayed it," she replied.

"And your mommy's gonna kill …" his voice trailed. They had stopped using that expression eight months ago. "Which way did she go?"

"South," Maureen answered taking her sister as he moved past her.

Elliot was gone.

He ran down the street looking in all directions, praying she hadn't gone far. She hadn't left the house since her return from the hospital and he knew she'd have no idea where she was. As the time ticked by he became more anxious about finding her … he grabbed his cell and called home to see if she had returned. She hadn't. He continued to search the streets and as darkness began to fall he returned home to get his car. As he flicked on the headlights his heart stopped, there huddled in the corner of their garage was Olivia.

"Olivia," he yelled, jumping back out the car. He ran to her then dropped down beside her, pulling her to him. She went willingly, throwing her arms around his neck and holding onto him tightly. "Baby, you scared me," he whispered, kissing her head repeatedly.

"Sorry," she mumbled, holding tighter.

"It's okay," he soothed, his hands running circles on her back trying to warm her.

"It's not okay," she said, looking up at him tearfully. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to upset you," he replied, his lips never far from her head.

"That plan worked," she said as the tears cascaded down her cheek. He tried to kiss them away but she pulled back. "Is that why I'm no longer a cop? Did I get kicked out of the department?"

"No, baby, I told you we made that decision for the sake of the kids, it had nothing to do with the shooting itself," he reiterated, desperate to hold her tighter than she was allowing.

"So what did IAB say?" she asked, needing to know and needing to know now.

"Nothing … it was a ricochet … you couldn't control it … it was accidental …" he offered, desperately trying to stop her trembling.

"Accidental maybe but I still killed him," she said breathlessly.

"You what?" Elliot asked, pulling back to look at her.

"Fin, I killed Fin …" she sobbed.

"NO!" yelled Elliot causing her to jump in fright. "No, Livvy, oh, baby, no … you didn't kill Fin, Forrester did …"

"Then who did I shoot?" she asked, her eyes widening in fright as the pieces fell into place. "NO!" she screamed.

He pulled her tighter to him as she struggled to free herself. "Liv, Liv, sssh," he soothed. "Listen to me, baby," he pleaded, pulling her hand and placing it under his shirt and on top of his heart. "Feel … I'm okay … honestly, I'm okay. It was only when Ballistics came back we realised this …" he touched the site of the wound, "was from your gun."

"I could have killed you!"

"But you didn't!"

"But I could have."

"But you didn't."

Her gaze locked onto his. "I would never have meant to hurt you," she whispered, the pain in her eyes all too clear.

"I know, baby. I never thought you did," he whispered in reply.

"But I put you in the hospital…" she sobbed.

He lifted his fingers to her right temple and rubbed gently. "And I did the same to you."

"But that was an accident," Olivia said.

"And so was this." He took her hand and gently pressed her fingers to the scar.

"No wonder Dickie … Rick hates me," she mumbled pulling closer to him. "I nearly killed his dad."

"He's alright with it, Liv … we had lots of long conversations about it … we talked through it," he soothed, stroking her head.

"We? As in you and Rick?" she asked, her head still swirling in disbelief.

"As in me and you, baby," he answered.

As Elliot's cell rang, Olivia dropped her head onto his shoulder and clung tighter.

"Mom's fine, Mo … we're just sitting in the garage…is that mess cleaned up? … Where is he? … No, he can stay in his room … give us another ten minutes …" he said.

"Twenty" mumbled Olivia into his neck.

"Make that thirty, Mo," he said and pocketed the cell.

"I'm so sorry, babe," she said, nuzzling into the crook in his neck.

"I know, Liv, I know." He kissed her head.

"And I'm sorry about all this … this running away … my head's all over the place," she apologised, lacing her fingers through his.

"It's okay; I can handle you running away as long as it's only to the garage." His gentle words caused her tears to trickle over once more. "What is it, Liv?"

"I'm only here because I had no where else to go. I got to the end of the street and I realised I didn't know where I was … fifty feet from my doorstep and I haven't got a fucking clue," she sobbed, distraught by her own inability to function independently.

"So you came back?" He kissed her head.

"I walked around the block and then came back but I couldn't handle going inside so I tried the side door and it was open," she said wearily.

"Olivia," he said, pulling back from her. "Please don't run from me again. I know this must all be a struggle but you've got to remember we got through it the first time we can do it again." She nodded. "Promise, me," he said, needing to hear her verbalise it.

She looked up at him and brushed away the tears sitting on his cheeks. "Can you promise me something first?"

"Of course!"

"Promise me that you still love me and despite this … " she traced over the site of his wound, "…you love me just the same."

Elliot shook his head. "Can't make that promise, baby." He kissed her lips. "I love you so much more than I did back then."

...

They sat down at the dinner table for the meal Maureen had prepared for them all. But it was a quiet and stilted affair; the only one oblivious to the tension was Molly and she only cared about making happy faces with the peas and carrots in her mashed potato.

Olivia barely ate, exhaustion kicking in. She stood up halfway through the meal, kissed Elliot's head and walked into the sitting room before lying on the sofa and closing her eyes. Her head was throbbing and even though her eyelids were down, her eyes didn't seem to settle. She took in a few deep breaths and listened to the relative silence of the house, a silence only broken by the occasional sound of cutlery and crockery in the kitchen and Molly's chatter.

She knew Rick was remorseful, and she knew Elliot was trying to keep his anger at his son in check – something Olivia had made him promise to do before they left the garage. She didn't think alienating him further was in anyone's interest, especially hers.

When she heard footsteps coming in she opened her eyes and smiled at Maureen who was bringing in a cup of tea for her.

"Did I wake you?" she asked quietly.

"No, I wasn't asleep," replied Olivia as she sat up and took the cup from her. "Thanks."

"Can I get you something to eat?"

Olivia shook her head. "No thanks, honey, I'll get something later on."

Maureen sat down beside her. "How are you doing, mom?" she asked.

"Exhausted," she sighed. "Mo, can you tell me something?" Maureen nodded. "Rick … has he been this way since I … since your dad …"

"Since dad's shooting?" Olivia nodded. "We were all pretty shaken up at the time, Kathleen came home from UCLA for a week but he was fine – it was the day after he got home the ballistics report came back and identified it as your bullet. You were pretty devastated by it but you and dad talked it through, then you spoke to us and it was a bit to get our heads around but none of us ever blamed you."

"But Rick …" she prompted, tears filling her eyes.

"He's been in a mood for a while … don't know what it's about but it got a whole lot worse when you were injured…" Maureen began to explain.

"Why?" she interrupted.

"No idea." Olivia sighed deeply and rubbed her head. "You in pain, mom?"

"A bit – it just won't ease up," she said, breathing deeply.

"Do you want me to get you something for it?" Maureen offered, standing up.

"No, I don't want to take anything with the baby … it'll be fine," she replied, finding it easier to remember the baby these days.

"What about a cold compress? Or a massage?" Olivia nodded and Maureen departed.

Resting her head on the back of the sofa, Olivia closed her eyes. When she felt the damp cloth fall across her forehead and strong yet gentle fingers begin to caress her head she smiled.

"You okay, baby?" he asked, leaning down to kiss her head.

"Mmmm," she murmured.

He continued to massage her head before moving down to her neck and shoulders. He said nothing but took the opportunity every now and then just to lean down and kiss her. Just as she was drifting off in a wonderful relaxed state, Molly came running in excited and despite Elliot's best efforts to calm her and keep her quiet, Olivia was awake.

"Daddy, want mommy," she whined, struggling to get away from her father.

"Shhh," he said, "Mommy's resting."

"Want mommy now!' she demanded, tired and frustrated with her lack of mommy time recently.

"It's ok, El," Olivia said, raising her arms to take the child as Elliot put her over the back of the sofa. "Come to mommy, Molly," Olivia soothed as she rested the child in her lap. Molly lay her head on Olivia's breast and tried to wrap her arms around her. Elliot came around and sat between Olivia and the arm of the sofa and eased Olivia back into him. He reached across to stroke his daughter's head but she wasn't impressed. When Elliot turned his attention to Olivia, she vocalised her disapproval.

"Go 'way, daddy," she said trying to brush his hand away.

"I can stay here with mommy too," he said gently.

"My mommy!" she said pushing on his leg.

"Can't daddy stay too?" Olivia asked quietly. From the day Molly was born and Olivia looked at her darling daughter and saw her husband's azure eyes looking back, she knew they'd be a fine pair together.

"Me want mommy," she cried, big tears trickling down her cheeks. "Miss mommy."

"Okay, baby," Elliot conceded getting up.

"Me punkin not baby," Molly corrected. Olivia couldn't help but laugh.

"Sorry, pumpkin," he replied, kissing Olivia's head.

"Fuck," Molly said and Olivia looked straight at Elliot before looking at her daughter.

"Molly!" she chastised. "We don't say that."

"Daddy sayed it," Molly explained pointing her finger at Elliot.

"Daddy is very naughty," Olivia replied.

"Daddy, go Time Out," Molly commanded, pointing to the little yellow plastic chair in the corner of the room, the same one Molly had to go to when she didn't do the right thing.

Elliot looked at his daughter then at his wife, hoping for some support but none came.

"Go daddy," Molly said again.

"Go daddy," Olivia said, and although she was keeping her expression as serious as possible, Elliot saw the smile in her eyes, something he hadn't seen all week. He went willingly and sat on the little chair – as uncomfortable as it was - and grinned widely … he would do anything to keep that twinkle in her eyes.

It wasn't too long after, Olivia called him back, she was laying down and Molly was asleep, one hand up at her face, her thumb in her mouth and the other one gripping onto Olivia's bra strap, the little girl in no hurry to let go of her mother.

"I'll put her to bed," Elliot said, bending down to his wife and daughter.

"No, don't … not yet," Olivia whispered, not quite ready to lose her little girl. "Can you squeeze in here with us?" she asked trying to shift to give him room without waking Molly.

"Sure," he replied, easing himself down and cuddling into his wife.

Olivia smiled and kissed his cheek. "You learn your lesson from being in Time Out?" she asked, gazing up at him.

"Yes, mommy," he grinned.

She smiled back. "If Don had have had one of those chairs in his office, I don't think we'd have ever gotten any work done."

**eoeoebitsandpieceseoeoeoe**

**If you've read this far and liked it, please leave me a note.**

**Looking for some hot EO - check out Ice.**


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, but I'm sure Mr Wolf won't mind.

**_Happy birthday, Lissy! Hope it's a great one!_**

**eoeoeobitsandpieceseoeoeoe**

The following days were a haze for Olivia as she tried to piece together the mess she felt was her life. Little bits seemed to be coming back to her, she remembered the twins had a parent / teacher conference coming up but she couldn't remember the teachers' names. She recalled that Diamond Palace was their new favourite Chinese restaurant in DC but she had no idea how to get there. Despite the fragments from the past and the information she was gathering from her family, she couldn't help but think she wasn't being told everything.

Initially, there was Elliot's reluctance to go into depth about the shooting, at first she thought he was protecting her and she was angry with him. Then she thought maybe he was protecting himself from having to relive it over and over and she felt guilty she was putting him through the trauma all over again. Just as she had begun to accept she would have to wait til her memory returned to get the whole picture she answered the phone and everything changed.

It was John Munch.

After friendly greetings were exchanged and both were caught up with the present, Olivia decided to enquire about the past.

"John," she began slowly. "What can you tell me about the day Fin and El were shot?" she asked, not yet able to call it the day Fin died.

"What do you want to know, Liv?" he replied, having Elliot's request in his head as he spoke to her.

"Everything … just start from the start…" she sighed before breathing deeply, anxiety kicking in.

"What did Elliot say?" John countered.

"John, I want your version… please," she pleaded. She could hear his sigh down the line and realised reliving the day was just as hard for John as it was for Elliot, as it would have been for her, if she could only remember it in the first place.

John recounted the day from his perspective but told her nothing she didn't already know, this brought her some comfort but she still had the nagging feeling something was missing. His voice was slow and deliberate, his facts simple but it was all devoid of his usual conspiracies and sharp wit.

"So, what is it you are not telling me?" she finally asked.

"I've told you everything about the day, Olivia," he said. But there was something in the intonation which made her think twice.

"What about after the day, John?" she asked, her heart starting to thump wildly.

John started talking again, once again slow and deliberate but soon Olivia interrupted. "What was that about IAB?"

"Huh?" John queried.

"You said the finding was pretty harsh and you could understand my … my … what word did you use? My …" she paused, waiting for him to fill in the blank.

"Your angst…" his voice trailed as Olivia's heavy breathing came down the line. "Liv, are you okay?" There was no response. "Livvy?"

"Sorry, I'm okay … I was just…" She shook her head, bits and pieces of the day coming back to her in all their horror. The gunshots. The blood … so much blood.

"Olivia?!" he called. "Talk to me."

"Blood … all that blood … all over the apartment … all over El … all over me … El's blood all over me … oh god!" It took all her effort just to keep her breathing even and not pass out.

"It's alright, Liv … take it easy. It's all over," he tried to reassure her, something hard to do down a telephone line.

"No! No, it's not, John," she gasped. "I can see it. It's all happening again. My fault… all my fault." Her head was spinning as her breathing became rapid and shallower.

"Olivia Benson, you listen to me," John commanded, "It wasn't your fault … IAB cleared you in both matters. No one blames…"

"BOTH?" she screamed.

"Ah, um …" John tried to back pedal but it wasn't happening.

"Both?" she repeated just a little softer.

Deciding there was nothing else he could do he went with the truth. As hard as it was, she had the right to know. They were still friends and he owed her that much.

"IAB cleared you in regards to Elliot … clear evidence it was a ricochet and there was nothing you could have done differently," he explained before taking a deep breath.

"What was the second matter?" she asked slowly and fearfully.

"They cleared you in regards to Fin," he replied and Olivia sighed, Elliot had already told her she hadn't shot him, IAB were obviously just checking. Then she realised IAB never 'just checked'.

"What did they say?" she asked to clarify matters.

John paused. "They said … something along the lines of 'although it cannot be proven, had prompt action been taken in relation to Tutuola's injury, it may not have been fatal'."

"What?" Olivia breathed, scattered pictures filling her brain. "I went to help him … or at least that's what I think I did … he was my partner, I would have gone to him … would have done my best … wouldn't I?"

As much as it pained him, John went with the truth. "You went to Elliot, Liv," he said gently. "I was subduing Harding … the uniforms came in and took him and I went to Fin … would have been less than three minutes …"

"But he was my partner … I would have … I did, didn't I?" Her head was spinning. She was Fin's partner she had his back … surely she wouldn't have left him there to bleed to death.

"You went to Elliot … when you were sure he was going to be okay you came over to us and we tried to stem the bleeding …" he explained.

"Did it work?" she asked in futility, knowing it obviously didn't.

"He bled out in the bus … never made it to Mercy," John said, the day casting a permanent dark shadow over his soul.

"So, I did kill him …" Olivia sobbed.

"No, honey, you didn't," he said gently. "Warner confirmed it - nothing we did or didn't do would have made a difference. Fin was gone as soon as the bullet pierced his heart … he wouldn't have known anything about it."

He waited for her to reply but only heard her sobbing harder. He called to her and tried to reassure her but got no response. Soon the line went dead as Olivia ended the call. She slumped to the floor and sobbed; glad she was home alone but not in any state to care.

Nearly an hour later she managed to drag herself off the floor and head to the kitchen; her face pale save for her puffy, red eyes and tear stained cheeks. She made her way to the sink and grabbed a glass, getting herself some water. It did nothing to make her feel better. She leant forward and rested her forehead on the cool stainless steel draining board hoping it would bring relief, it didn't. It was Rick who came in and found her this way.

"Mom?!" he called running straight over to her and putting one hand on her back. "Mom, are you alright?" She nodded and mumbled yes. He didn't believe her. "Come and sit down, mom," he said guiding her to a chair.

"How come it's mom again?" she asked, it was the first time she hadn't been Liv since the accident. He shrugged and Olivia didn't push it. He grabbed her glass and placed it on the table before her.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked quietly. She shook her head. "I'll call dad."

"No!" she replied not in any state to see Elliot. "No, it's okay … he's needed at the Bureau. Where are the girls?"

"They'll be back any minute now," Rick said. "Then Mo is going to take Liz and me to the game. If that's still alright …"

"That's fine."

The older children were gone and Olivia lay on the sofa with Molly atop her, both enjoying some quiet time, Molly drifted off to sleep and Olivia allowed herself to replay her earlier conversation with John. It wasn't long before her tears started again; tears at her not being able to fully recall events for herself, tears at the tragedy of that day but mainly tears at failing in her job to have her partner's back.

"Liv?" Elliot called urgently the minute he was in the house. He was desperate to see her after calls from John and Rick. Stuck in traffic getting home, he became frantic when she wouldn't answer either the home phone or her cell, despite him calling over twenty times. "OLIVIA?!"

She didn't respond, just held Molly closer to her.

"OLIV…" He stopped when he saw them. "Olivia," he said quietly as he moved around the sofa to them. He sat down on the edge and tried to wipe away her tears. "Baby?"

Olivia opened her eyes and stared at him. She didn't hate him, she could never hate him but she was angry he hadn't told her the complete story about Fin … hadn't told her all of what IAB had found, even after she had asked him. Sure, it had been just one thing but she had had plenty of time to wonder about what else he wasn't telling her … wondering how many times she would go through the trauma of today when somebody else revealed something he hadn't.

"Hey baby," he soothed and moved in to kiss her but she turned her head and his lips scraped her cheek instead. "Olivia?" he questioned trying to ease her face back around.

"Go away," she muttered, not in any state to hear him out.

"No," he replied calmly although he was anything but. "I need you to look at me, Liv. I need you to talk to me."

"I need you …" she said very quietly for Molly's sake "to go to fucking hell."

Elliot was taken aback. It had been a long time since she had told him to do anything of the sort. Not willing to give up so easily yet not willing to have their daughter caught in the middle he changed tactics. "Liv, let me put Molly to bed."

"No," she growled as he tried to take her.

"Olivia, it's past her bedtime," Elliot whispered.

"Take your hands off _my_ daughter," she snapped, holding her tighter.

Elliot's patience had worn through. He knew his beautiful wife, who was staring at him with a look to kill, had been through a lot. He knew her day had been traumatic. He knew she was in pain but she had never, ever, referred to Molly as hers alone and those words sliced through his heart.

"She is _our_ daughter, Olivia, _our_ daughter. Don't ever say that again," he growled back.

Olivia stared at him. She could see the hurt and pain in his eyes and she could hear it in his voice and instantly regretted her words.

"I'm sorry, Elliot … our daughter." She let go of Molly and allowed Elliot to pick her up.

"I'm going to put her to bed and then I'm coming back to you. Don't move," he warned softly.

Ten minutes later he reappeared in the sitting room and watched as she pulled herself into a ball in the corner of the sofa, as if trying to recoil from his presence. It broke his heart … he hadn't set out to deliberately lie to her; he had just wanted her to be stronger before hearing the full story. Now she had found out from John and all the effort he had put into protecting her was to no avail.

He sat down beside her, close but not touching. For the longest while he said nothing. Keeping his hands clasped together to fight the overwhelming urge to touch her, he sat still, just watching her. Eventually, she opened her eyes and looked at him; surprised when she saw the telltale sign of tear trails down his cheeks.

"What's wrong with you?" she whispered, causing more of his tears to fall.

"You," he whispered in reply. "Never meant for you to find out this way."

"Should have told me," she mumbled.

"Was going too … but …" his voice trailed, nothing he said would advance his cause.

"But you didn't think I could handle it?" she offered, wiping her hand across her face.

"No … I just couldn't … I didn't want… I wasn't ready …" No matter how he started he couldn't get the right words to come. She read the truth in his eyes. He loved her and wasn't ready to be the one who told her … he'd already been through this once before, now he had to do it all over again.

Olivia uncurled herself and repositioned herself in his lap, in his arms. She didn't want to hate him; she didn't want to be angry with him. She just wanted the truth, the whole truth, but looking at him, she didn't want it to be at the expense of his own wellbeing, she could wait a little longer for her memory to return.

Her arms wound around his neck and she leant in resting her head in the crook of his neck. His strong arms surrounded her and he pulled her closer. When he went to kiss her lips she moved her head, so he settled for kissing her right temple.

"You probably don't want to hear this right now, Olivia…" he whispered. "But I love you very much." She didn't respond. "Did you hear me, baby? I love you."

"I heard you," she replied sadly. Elliot's heart constricted. It was the first time since he had first declared his love for her she hadn't reciprocated. He desperately needed to hear those words from her, now more than ever. "Liv?" he said in barely a whisper, hoping it would prompt her. Rather than speak, Olivia just held tighter to him and all Elliot could do was to convince himself it was a gesture of love.

In the early hours of the morning Olivia awoke in her bed and instantly realised she was there alone, looking at Elliot's side she knew he hadn't slept there. She looked around the room and found him sleeping uncomfortably in the armchair. His head was at an odd angle and his body was slumped to the side. She knew he'd be aching all over and with his blanket resting on the floor he'd be cold too.

She moved to him and gently shook his arm. "Elliot?" He didn't wake. "Elliot!" He bolted upright, grabbing his neck as his body screamed at his violent movement.

"What's wrong?" he asked, trying to ignore the pain shooting down his neck.

"Why are you over here?" she asked, moving behind him and gently massaging his neck. He flinched in pain.

"Wasn't sure whether you wanted me in there with you," he mumbled, trying to stretch out his limbs.

"Why would you think that?" she asked, her fingers stopping on his shoulder.

"Well, I'm not exactly in your good books. I was going to ask you when I got out of the shower but you were asleep. Didn't want to upset you any more," he replied, reaching for her hand and kissing it.

Olivia moved in front of him and drew him up to her. "Despite what I said earlier, I never want you to be anywhere else than with me," she whispered, leaning in and tenderly pressing her lips to his. "I'm so sorry about before," she mumbled into his mouth.

She deepened the kiss while running her arms around him trying to warm him. Elliot broke the kiss and tried to sidestep her, tears in his eyes. She caught them as he passed by.

She pulled him back to her and tried to get him to look at her, he wouldn't.

"What is it, El?" she asked quietly, holding onto his beater in fear he might run.

"Nothing, it's late, let's just go to bed," he said wearily, moving towards the bed.

"Wait, Elliot!" she said, moving to block his path.

"What?" Exhausted and downcast, he scrubbed a hand over his face.

Olivia pulled his hand down and held onto it. "Elliot Stabler, you do know I love you so very much, don't you?"

He smiled, the first one in a very long day. "I do now," he sighed.

**eoeoebitsandpieceseoeoeoe**

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	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, but I'm sure Mr Wolf won't mind.

**eoeoeobitsandpieceseoeoeoe**

It was Thursday afternoon when Olivia, Maureen and Molly returned from her doctor's appointment. The good news was the fluid had dispersed and the scans all looked good. Elliot had desperately wanted to be there but the trade off for being able to stay in DC with his family was that he was available, whenever required, by video link up to New York and that's where he was stuck.

By the time he got home the house was silent and all its inhabitants in bed, which he thought odd given it had just gone past 10:00 PM.

"Hey baby," he whispered coming into his bedroom finding Olivia dozing off.

"Hey," she replied, reaching to flick on the lamp. "You're late."

"Yeah, sorry. Cragen wanted to go through a whole lot of new information," he yawned, taking off his shirt.

"Did it get you anywhere?" she yawned in reply.

"Yeah, a couple of leads … might be a break," he said, hanging his pants over the back of the armchair.

"That's good," Olivia said, pulling back the covers for him.

"Yeah," he said wearily. "The sooner we can wrap this up the better."

Olivia smiled, that was exactly what she wanted too.

Elliot slid into bed beside her before reaching across her to turn off the lamp, taking the opportunity to kiss her as he passed both ways.

"So," he said, snuggling down and wrapping her in his arms. "Was there a curfew tonight?"

"Huh? she replied mid-yawn.

"A curfew? It's usually a battle to get the kids to bed before midnight and everyone's already tucked in and sleeping," he observed, brushing his lips across her forehead.

"Molly went down as normal, Maureen was up very early this morning so she was tired and the twins were feeling a bit off colour so they went to bed," she replied.

"Anything serious?" he asked, the twins were not prone to illness and early nights.

"Don't think so. Liz was a bit hot and had a sore stomach; Rick was really lethargic and clammy. If they're still like that in the morning I'll take them to the doctor," Olivia said pulling him closer.

"Speaking of doctors, babe, what did yours say today?" he asked, surprised she hadn't at least called and left a message.

"He said he was pleased with my progress and the scan results were good. He thought my memory coming back as it is, was a good sign and that I just had to be patient about the rest," she concluded, sighing deeply.

"What else did he say?" Elliot prompted, knowing there was more to come.

"Not a lot," she replied.

"Did you ask about sex?" he asked, not sure if he was hoping for a positive or negative response. He was desperate to make love to his wife again but he was still very worried it would cause further problems for her and her recovery – something he didn't want to jeopardise.

"Um … sort of," she replied. "He said from a purely medical point of view there probably wasn't a reason I couldn't, however, he would recommend waiting another few weeks just to be sure." It was a lie. The doctor had said in another few days they could engage in sexual activity so long as they took it easy. Olivia, however, was as reluctant as Elliot to take the risk in case it caused further impairment. She didn't feel the white lie would hurt.

"Well, if that's what the doctor said, I guess we'll have to wait," Elliot sighed, as much in relief as in disappointment.

"I guess so," she replied, reaching up to kiss him. She was more than happy to engage in this aspect of their physical relationship and let him know it.

More than happy to let his wife take the lead, Elliot was a little disappointed when a knock on the door disrupted them.

"Mommy," cried Liz as she opened the door. "I feel terrible."

Olivia turned around and took her daughter's hand, bringing her to sit on the edge of the bed. She raised the back of her hand to Liz's forehead.

"You're running a temperature, baby girl," Olivia soothed as Elliot climbed out of bed to grab a wet face cloth. When he got back, Liz was lying with Olivia, holding tight to her.

"It hurts," she sobbed into Olivia's breast.

"Where does it hurt, baby?" Elliot asked, dropping the face cloth across her forehead.

"Everywhere!" She gestured to her stomach. Gently, Olivia applied pressure to her daughter's abdomen and the girl moaned in pain.

"Sorry, Liz," Olivia said, kissing her forehead. She looked up at Elliot and mouthed the word 'hospital'. Elliot immediately got dressed. "Lizzie, we're going to take you to the hospital and get this checked out, okay?" Liz just cried.

When Elliot was ready he sat on the bed and cradled Liz in his arms as Olivia got dressed and woke Maureen. When they were in the garage Elliot was struck by an ominous thought. Rick! The twins had an uncanny ability to experience similar ailments almost simultaneously and Olivia had already told him they were both unwell. After Olivia was seated in the back of the SUV hugging Liz, Elliot ran back up stairs to Rick.

The moment he touched him he knew he was running a temperature.

"Rick! Rick!" he called shaking the boy.

"What?" he grumbled, rolling over and burying his head in the pillow.

"Wake up, son," he ordered, shaking him.

Rick rolled over and propped himself up in bed. "What?" he repeated.

"How are you feeling?" Elliot asked, resting his hand on his son's forehead.

"Tired," he groaned, his eyes closing.

"Hey Rick!" Elliot tapped the side of his face. "We're taking your sister to hospital, mom thinks it's appendicitis. I need to know if you're okay."

"Liz is sick!" Rick said, suddenly wide awake. "I'm coming too."

While he had had little time for his twin sister of late they still had a close bond and nothing could truly come between them.

By the time they arrived at the ER Liz was moaning in pain and Rick's skin was ashen. The doctor took one look at both of them and ordered immediate tests. The results were surprising, there was nothing out of the ordinary for Liz but Rick had appendicitis. When Olivia and Elliot questioned it, given Liz's current state, the doctor showed them the results again. He got Rick to lie on a gurney and pushed his abdomen at the site of his appendix, Rick winced.

"I think your daughter's response is sympathetic, despite her apparent symptoms there is nothing physiological happening with her. Your son on the other hand has abdominal rigidity, elevated numbers in his blood count and an enlarged appendix on the ultrasound," he explained. "Anything like this ever happened before?"

Elliot shook his head but Olivia jumped in. "When they were six, didn't you tell me Liz broke her arm at school but it was Rick who was screaming in pain?"

"Oh right," Elliot agreed, surprised she'd have remembered him telling her the story whilst on a stakeout so very long ago.

Elliot followed his son up to the OR while Olivia waited with Liz in the ER as a precautionary measure. She knew the instant Rick was out of surgery when Liz sat up, yawned and asked for can of soda without a care in the world. Olivia laughed.

"What's funny, mom?" she asked.

"You and your brother can't be within 10 ft of each other without arguing but you can share a case of appendicitis," she explained.

"Yeah, well, he may be a dumbass but he's my dumbass," Liz laughed and Olivia joined in. She could remember saying the exact same thing about Elliot to Casey after he'd stuffed up and bought her home table napkins after she'd phoned him and asked for sanitary ones.

By the time Liz had the all clear from the ER doctor and they headed upstairs, Rick had been moved from recovery and was in his own room. Elliot was sitting in the chair he had drawn up to the bed and was trying desperately not to give into the sleep which was calling him. Olivia softly touched his arm.

"El," she whispered, taking his hand. "Babe?" Elliot's eyes opened and focused on his wife. "How is he?"

"Good. Asleep. Surgeon said they got it just in time so he's a lucky boy," Elliot yawned. "How's Liz?"

"I'm good, dad," Liz said, kissing Elliot's head and moving to her brother. "Is he gonna be okay?"

"Sure is, baby girl. When he wakes up he'll be as good as new," Elliot smiled.

"Why? Did they do a personality transplant too?" she asked, smirking at her father.

"How are you feeling now, Liz?" he asked, ignoring her question.

"I'm okay, dad, really," she reassured him. "Just tired."

"I'm not surprised it's nearly 4:00 am." He turned his attention from his children to his wife. "And how are you, Liv?"

"Exhausted, I think. You?" she replied, propping herself on his leg.

"Same. How about you take Liz home and get some sleep? I'll stay here with Rick," Elliot suggested, rubbing her thigh.

"You sure? We could stay," Olivia countered, as her fingers raked through his hair.

"I'm sure. Besides both my beautiful girls need to sleep." He kissed her cheek.

They stood and Elliot hugged and kissed his daughter before turning to his wife. "Love you, baby," he whispered as his lips brushed hers.

"Love you too, El," she replied hugging him tightly. "Call if you need anything, okay?"

"I will," he nodded, kissing her once more.

Liz kissed her brother's head and moved aside for her mother.

"I love you, Rick," Olivia said kissing his forehead. "Sweet dreams." She kissed him again and took Liz's hand before heading to the door with Elliot.

"Mom!" Rick croaked, causing all three to turn around. "Mom, don't go."

Olivia ran back to him. "Rick, honey, I'm right here," she said, squeezing his hand and kissing his head. "I'm right here."

Slowly Rick forced his eyes opened and tried to focus on Olivia's face. "Don't let go," he repeated, weakly tugging her hand.

"Hey, honey, how are you feeling?" she asked softly.

"Like crap," he croaked, his eyes struggling to stay open.

"You're doing well, Rick," she reassured, stroking his face. "Doctor says you're going to be fine."

"Sure," he groaned, never having felt worse in his life.

"Your dad is going to stay with you, honey, and I'm taking Liz home but we'll be back in a few hours," she soothed, kissing his forehead.

"Mommy Livvy, don't' let go," he repeated, keeping hold of his mother's hand. Olivia caught her breath, those were the exact same words he had used four years ago after a Kathy based nightmare.

"Son," Elliot interrupted and Rick slowly rolled his head to the other side to see his father. "Liz needs to go home."

"You take her," Rick ground out. "Mom stay..."

Elliot and Olivia exchanged looks over their son; neither could explain his desire for his mother to remain when recent behaviour indicated she was probably his least favourite person.

"Please…" he groaned when no one spoke.

Elliot just shrugged his shoulders. "You stay then," he said, looking at his wife.

"Are you alright with that?" Olivia asked, knowing he was probably hurt by his son's preference, he'd always thought his bond with Dickie was the strongest of all his children.

"If you're up to doing it, I'm fine with it," he replied, moving away and grabbing his jacket.

"I'm fine to stay, El," she answered, rounding the bed. "But I may need this." She reached in to kiss him before taking his jacket. She wasn't cold; she just needed his warmth and scent to surround her.

**eoeoebitsandpieceseoeoeoe**

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	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, but I'm sure Mr Wolf won't mind.

**A belated happy birthday to Sabri!**

**Thanks again Laura!**

**eoeoeobitsandpieceseoeoeoe**

Elliot and Liz departed and Olivia settled into the chair she had pulled up alongside the bed. The crisp white sheets making Rick look paler still. She held his hand loosely and rested her head on her folded arms on his bed. Although she slept soundly for a few hours to her it felt like she was only asleep momentarily before she was woken.

"Mom … I'm thirsty," Rick moaned instantly gaining her attention. Olivia got up and grabbed some water before perching on the edge of the bed facing him.

"Here you go," she said, holding the straw for him to drink from. "How are you feeling, honey?"

"Okay, I guess," he yawned wearily, wincing as he tried to sit up. Olivia helped him to get more comfortable before he dropped back into the pillows, exhausted by the small movement.

"Okay?" she questioned. He nodded. Olivia looked at her watch. "Dad will be here soon."

"Hmmm," Rick replied, his eyes open but heavy. "Was he mad I wanted you to stay?"

"No, honey," she answered. "I was a bit surprised though." Rick nodded. "Want to tell me why?"

He sighed deeply. "Just … um … well, you see …" The words wouldn't come for him.

"Take your time … what's going on with you and me?" she asked, hoping he could provide her with the answers she needed.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "You must hate me."

"Me? Why?" she asked startled.

"I've been horrible to you … I didn't really mean it," he said apologetically, tears filling his blue eyes.

"Did I do something wrong?" Olivia asked quietly, her lack of memory taunting her.

"Thought you were leaving me too," he mumbled, turning away from her.

"What do you mean, Rick?" she asked, drawing his face back to hers. "Hey? Why would you think that?"

"Your accident … I know it wasn't your fault but I just hated it because … well, because when you were unconscious I thought you were going die and …" his voice trailed.

"I was never going to die, baby," she interrupted grabbing his hands.

"But I thought you were …" he answered, the first of his tears falling.

"Oh, Rick, I'm so sorry …" Olivia replied, wiping his cheek.

"Not your fault but … I mean … I didn't think mom was going to die and I lost her and then I lost everything else and I thought it just made sense that I'd lose you too," he rambled, tears now streaming down his pale cheeks.

Olivia moved quickly to sit beside him in the bed, holding him tightly. Rick rarely spoke about Kathy anymore but this was evidence she was still heavy on his mind. Olivia kissed his head. "I know you lost your mom, baby, but what else did you lose?" she asked quietly.

"Everything," he mumbled, clinging to her despite his weakened state.

"Tell me," she prompted, holding him tighter.

"Mom … Kathleen … my friends … my school … the house … New York … dad … you," he rambled and it was then Olivia realised that it had all taken its toll on him. People he loved were leaving him; his mother by dying, his sister moving away to college, his dad – first by being shot then, later on, moving back to New York for work, herself with her accident. Then he lost the other major things in his life when they moved to DC.

"I'm so sorry, baby," she whispered, her tears dripping down onto his face and she cradled him tightly to her, wishing for the world she could take his pain away. Being his father's son he drifted off to sleep quickly nestled snugly in Olivia's arms.

It was only then Olivia managed to drag her eyes away from her son to see Elliot standing at the foot of the bed, tears streaming down his face. Neither had realised just how much their boy had kept bottled up, never thought his recent behaviour was more than the usual teenage angst. Elliot came to her side and held onto Olivia before leaning in to hug and kiss his son.

"I love you, Rick," Elliot whispered as he kissed him again.

Olivia moved to sit up on the bed as Elliot stood before her. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her weary head in the crook of his neck. She knew he wasn't really able to speak at the moment so she just held tightly and gently swayed.

When he sighed deeply and pulled back marginally, Olivia knew he was ready, she looked up just waiting for him. When nothing was said she tilted her head to the side. "What are you thinking, Elliot?"

He shook his head. "I'm such a fucking idiot … I'm his fucking father, how did I not see this? How fucking stupid am I?" he growled, desperately annoyed with himself.

"Hey!" she replied, putting her right hand behind his head and pulling him back to her. "Don't speak about Rick's father like that. I happen to love the man very much and I won't have you saying such things," she reprimanded seriously before kissing his nose.

Elliot shook his head but Olivia didn't let go.

"Olivia, how could we have missed his pain?" he asked, completely gutted as his eyes searched hers. "I mean, neither of the twins wanted to move but we did it anyway."

"I can't answer that, El," she whispered. Although she had information and memory fragments, she couldn't figure out for the life of her why they'd have forced the change on them.

He dropped his head against her shoulder and sighed deeply, the weight of Rick's revelation weighing heavy on him.

"What are we going to do now?" Olivia asked, tired beyond belief and in no real state to think for herself.

"Well," he started, dragging his head back up and gazing over at his son. "I think we sit the kids down, have a long talk and see about getting some counselling…"

"Counselling for Rick?" she asked quietly, her eyes following his.

"Nah, I was thinking about some family counselling." He drew his gaze back to his wife. "You think that's okay?"

Olivia studied him intently; this was her Elliot advocating counselling. The same one who would just as soon shoot a psychologist as speak to one.

"What?" he asked, watching her face.

"Since when have you been a fan of counselling?" she asked, rubbing his back in lazy circles.

"Since I realised that I don't want my son to be a fucking screw up like his father," he replied bitterly, his eyes closing with the guilt he felt.

"Hey! If your sons turn out half as good as their father, they will be fine men," she said, pulling him closer.

It took him an instant to register. "Sons?"

"Yeah," she grinned. "That was the other thing the doctor had to say yesterday."

"It's a boy, really?" he asked, his eyes welling with tears again.

"Yeah … and I would love him to be just like his daddy, so you stop being so hard on yourself. Okay?" she said, kissing his cheek.

Elliot wrapped his arms around his wife, although she had said it was a boy, when she first told him she was expecting, the news still caught him by surprise. He held and kissed her and prayed that Stabler number six and son number two could bring the family together and let them embark on a much happier phase in their lives.

**eoeoebitsandpieceseoeoeoe**

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	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, but I'm sure Mr Wolf won't mind.

**I'm taking a wild guess and saying everyone's very busy at the moment. If you happen to read this chapter, please leave me a note. Thanks!**

**eoeoeobitsandpieceseoeoeoe**

Rick had been home from the hospital for two weeks when on a Thursday night, Elliot informed his brood over dinner there would be a family meeting on Saturday night. Maureen nearly choked on her water. She was 24 and she had never heard her father even utter the words 'family meeting', it had only ever been Olivia, and that was rare.

Liz and Rick looked at each other; both trying to figure out what the other had done to cause the need for this meeting. Molly played with her ice cream, not caring about it in the least.

"Can't really have a family meeting when the whole family is not here," Liz said finally, hoping it would draw some information from her parents.

"Kathleen will be here late tomorrow night," Elliot reported, picking up his bread roll.

"Really?" Liz and Maureen asked in unison.

'Really," Elliot confirmed. "Flight arrives at 10:35 at Dulles."

"Wow! She didn't say anything when I spoke to her Tuesday," said Maureen, resting her spoon in the bowl.

"That's because I only made the arrangements for her yesterday," Elliot said, glancing at Olivia and flashing her a reassuring smile.

The kids exchanged looks; their father was never the one to make arrangements.

"Is there something wrong?" Maureen asked, looking at Olivia who had yet to speak.

"Is there?" asked Rick, not liking the sound of this meeting in the least.

"Let's just leave it 'til Saturday," Elliot responded, turning his attention to Molly.

"But dad…" Liz started.

"Saturday," he answered firmly.

The conversation was over.

When dinner was over, Olivia was putting away the last of the crockery when Elliot returned from bathing Molly.

"She's up in her room with Liz waiting for her mommy to kiss her goodnight," Elliot said, hugging Olivia from behind and kissing her neck.

"Okay," she replied quietly, moving away, not looking at him. It took him three seconds to realise she was crying. Gently he tugged her arm back.

"What?" she replied, trying to sound casual but still not looking at him.

He forced her into an embrace and waited patiently until her arms surrounded him. It took a few minutes. "I love you, Olivia Stabler," he whispered, kissing her head.

"Love you too," she replied, though it was muffled by his shirt.

"Anything you want to talk about?" he asked, raking his fingers through her hair. She shook her head. "You know where to find me when you do, right?"

"Right." She pulled away and headed up to her youngest daughter, leaving Elliot to figure out what was wrong, yet again. He desperately wanted her to let him in but she seemed determined to deal with some things herself. He knew family counselling may help them as a unit but was wondering whether there might be a need for some couple therapy … something he would never have considered with Kathy … but for Olivia he would go to the ends of the earth.

Twice.

Later that night, Elliot rolled over and stirred only to find Olivia sitting up in bed. Her head was resting back on the headboard, her eyes staring up at the darkened ceiling.

He reached out and wrapped an arm around her waist. There were so many questions he wanted to ask her, so much he wanted her to share, but he was doing his best to let her come to him and as painful as it was to watch her go through it, there was little he could do. Olivia didn't respond to his arm, not straight away anyhow.

It was a good five minutes later when she spoke, not really aware as to whether Elliot was awake or asleep.

"I've been trying so hard to figure it all out," she began slowly and Elliot opened his eyes. "And for the life of me I can't understand why we moved away from New York like we did. The kids obviously didn't want to do it. I never remember wanting to leave and I never thought you did … I know me shooting you and Fin dying must have shaken us all up but to make such a drastic move … I just don't get it." She stopped for a while yet Elliot said nothing.

He knew she wasn't really talking to him; she just needed to talk. To say things out loud and get them straight; this was something new since the head injury.

"I know we sold the house in Queens and that Maureen is living in your old place, and that's where you've been staying and I know the person we originally sublet my apartment to moved out and it's now sublet to … to … oh god … you told me who …well, whomever it is… But since the shooting and the move were only weeks apart, I don't get why we sold the house … or did it all so quickly." She folded her arms across her chest.

Olivia took a couple of deep breaths then continued. "I can get why we gave up being cops after the shooting - you know, not wanting to put the kids through losing one of us … or both of us … given the nature of the job but I just don't get the move … I've tried to think of it in a hundred different ways and I don't get it."

She stopped and snuggled down in the bed so she was face to face with Elliot. "Is there something else, anything else, I don't know?"

Elliot took a deep breath. There were a few things and it was now or never.

"After the shooting, when I was still in hospital, Dani Beck came to see me …" his voice trailed in the hope it would be enough. He watched her eyes widen … he had told her of the kiss with Dani not long after they were together and it only added to her animosity towards the woman. "You came in and Dani was holding my hand…"

"What? Why?" she spat out, instinctively moving away from him, Elliot reached out and hooked an arm around her.

"She was trying to be sympathetic, passing on her condolences …" he tried to explain.

"Sure!" The sarcasm in her voice was plainly evident.

"Then you came in and you could have cut the air with a knife …" A slight smile came to his lips. "You told her I was yours and she was welcome to go to hell."

Olivia smiled briefly before her tone became serious. "Was I jealous?"

"Maybe a little bit, but you would never admit it," he said, pulling her to him. "But… there was never any reason to be jealous…"

"Well, maybe not then," she said, sighing deeply and closing her eyes.

"Not then, not ever," Elliot said, kissing her forehead.

Silence ensued.

"Then if it wasn't Dani, or the shooting, or Fin, or leaving the department, what made us move?" she asked, still at a loss.

"You know I love you?" Elliot whispered, gently kissing her lips.

She nodded, her stomach twisting at his response – she knew it was to lead into something bad. Suddenly she wasn't sure if she wanted the answer.

"It was a combination of everything…" he began. "All those things and one other thing… Kathleen."

She studied his face; the pain in his eyes was undeniable at his daughter's name.

"What happened?" she asked quietly.

"You and Kathleen had an argument and it really upset you … we thought a fresh start would help," he reported, leaving a great deal of the detail out. Olivia considered it for a few minutes.

"Kathleen would have been going back to UCLA so why would we have to leave New York for a fresh start? It wasn't as if we'd see her often." Olivia ran her hand over her face and through her hair. "What was the argument about?"

"I wasn't there at the time … so I can only go on what you both said … separately … okay?" he clarified, not wanting anything he said to be taken as gospel in case it didn't gel with any memory of hers which may later return. She nodded.

He took a deep breath. "When I was in the hospital you and Liz were apparently in the sitting room talking about painting the room … you and Liz agreed on jade but Kathleen wasn't happy … said Kathy wouldn't like it and you shouldn't do it. Then later on Dickie was asking you about converting the attic so he could have a bigger space and you said it could be done and Kathleen said it was a decision I should make, not you."

"I know I haven't been as close to Kathleen as the others but up until August I wouldn't have said she was antagonistic towards me," she paused and thought harder about it. "What happened? It wasn't just the paint and the attic, was it?"

"No, baby," he sighed deeply. If he had learnt anything from the IAB incident it was that Olivia deserved the complete truth and although this was going to seriously pain them both she had the right to know. "The day after I was released and we got the ballistics report and it said you shot me … accidentally … you two had a huge fight."

"About?" she asked when he added nothing further.

"Liv … you sure you want to hear this?" he asked, knowing she did but really not wanting to be the one that told her their second eldest daughter had completely shattered what was left of Olivia's resilience.

"Ah ha," she murmured, now terrified.

"Kathleen, in essence, said … well, in effect … it was too bad you didn't kill me then the house could have been yours to do with what you wanted …" he trailed when Olivia gasped. He then continued knowing he had to get it all out. "She also said she hated the way you moved in on me and the family as soon as Kathy was out of the picture and that you had probably been waiting for that since the day our partnership began. She went on to say it would have been better for me if you had died that day and not Kathy."

When the shock shifted, Olivia began to sob. "Shh, baby… please don't cry," he begged quietly. Their last weeks in New York had been spent in a haze of tears and regret … he didn't want to revisit those extraordinarily painful days.

"How could she think that?" Olivia sobbed, into his chest as she clung to him.

"She was upset…" he began, kissing her head.

"And that … gave her … the right…" she interrupted sobbing.

"No, it didn't and we told her that…" Elliot replied gently, trying to console her.

"I thought … I mean she seemed to like me …" Olivia managed, leaning back from him and making eye contact.

"She loves you, baby," Elliot soothed. "She just had a lot of trouble coping with the shooting …"

"So, do the others hate me too – do they all think that too – that I was just waiting for Kathy to die so I could …" Olivia struggled to break from his grasp and to get out of bed but Elliot scooted across the bed and grabbed her around the waist as she stood by the bed.

"Don't run, Liv… please don't run," he begged her. "No one hates you, baby. None of them think that – Kathleen was just being difficult."

"Difficult? Is that what you call it?" she asked spinning around and breaking his grip. Elliot knew his daughter had been a complete and utter bitch but no parent ever wants to publicly acknowledge that.

Elliot was out of bed and following her into the bathroom before she stopped him.

"Give me a few minutes," she said closing the door behind her and using the toilet. Elliot waited patiently outside, having no idea how he was going to get her … get them … over this hurdle.

Again.

When she returned, Olivia walked straight into his arms. Regardless of the pain of the situation she knew they had gotten through this once … she knew he loved her more now than then … he had told her that in the garage after she had tried to run away. The only thing she didn't know was how she was going to face Kathleen the following night.

"Can you please take me to bed?" she asked him "And just hold me?" She wiped away his tears then hers.

It was the easiest thing he'd ever agreed to.

**eoeoebitsandpieceseoeoeoe**

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	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, but I'm sure Mr Wolf won't mind.

**I'm taking a wild guess and saying everyone's very busy at the moment. If you happen to read this chapter, please leave me a note. Thanks!**

**eoeoeobitsandpieceseoeoeoe**

The following morning, Elliot was up early and Olivia lay in bed and listened to the noise around the house. She smiled at the comfort the sounds brought her. It was really beginning to feel like home. She heard the door close as Maureen left for work and then again as the twins left for school. Finally, she ventured down the stairs but stopped suddenly on the second last step when she heard Elliot on the phone.

"Sorry, I couldn't talk to you yesterday … yeah, Olivia was around … no, she's in bed asleep … it's made it difficult me not being in New York much these days … can't wait myself … yeah, sure …bye Dani…"

Her blood ran cold with the mention of that name … she couldn't believe he was having that conversation … any conversation … with her … with anybody … the secrecy … the lies… Obviously she had been right all along thinking they'd been having problems and he was going back to New York because of it … back to New York and Dani Beck.

Silently, she made her way back upstairs and into bed, not wanting to face him until she got a hold of her emotions … until she figured out where it left her … or didn't leave her.

Ten minutes later she heard Elliot and Molly come into the room; she feigned sleep but had to open her eyes when Molly kissed her.

"Bye – bye, mommy," Molly said, kissing her face.

"Bye pumpkin," she said tearfully. "You ready to go to Mrs Embley's?"

"Yep … daddy take me," she said, playing with Olivia's hair.

"You okay, Liv?" he asked realising she hadn't looked at him once.

"Fine, thank you," she replied coolly.

"Liv?" he asked firmly, not liking this at all.

"You'd better get going, Mrs Embley will be waiting," Olivia said, kissing her daughter's head.

"Love you, pumpkin," she said as her daughter hugged her.

"Love mommy," she replied. "Love daddy, too," she squealed as she hugged her father's legs.

_That's one of us, _Olivia thought.

"I'll be finished at the Bureau by two and will be back to take you to that appointment," Elliot said, kissing her forehead. It took all Olivia's self control not to withdraw from his touch.

"Fine," she muttered, knowing full well he wouldn't find her there when he returned.

The moment she heard the garage door close she went to the window and watched tearfully as the car drove away. Quickly, she grabbed a bag and threw in some clothes; not really knowing what she needed or what she was doing … except that she had to go to New York. She had promised him she wouldn't run away again, but technically it wasn't running away; it was going home. She needed to be there, the only place she knew as home, to give her a chance to sort everything else out. She couldn't do it in DC, in this house, with Elliot.

Her heart plunged every time she thought of leaving Molly behind but she knew her daughter needed the stability of her family and not a mother who couldn't seem to put two coherent thoughts together these days.

After a quick shower and grabbing some last minute items, including photos of the kids, Olivia sat down at the table with pen and paper in her hand. She couldn't just walk away without explanation otherwise he'd lose his mind and that wasn't fair on the kids … but despite what she wanted to say she knew she had to word it carefully, she didn't want to cause the children anymore pain. She knew he'd be the first one home and addressed it to him.

It took her eight attempts before she was satisfied…

_Elliot,_

_I'm not here. I just can't be here … not anymore … not after everything that's been said and done. Tell the kids I love them desperately and I will call them. I am not running away … I just need to sort out this mess in my head and after overhearing your call this morning I know I can't do that with you. _

_Olivia_

Before lunch, Olivia found herself back in New York, walking out of La Guardia and, for the first time since her accident, six weeks ago, feeling like she belonged; like she knew where she was going. She jumped into the first available cab and despite the rain which was beginning to fall, felt happy to be home.

Her feeling of elation lasted until the driver asked, "Where to?" and it struck her that she had no home here anymore.

Instinctively, she recited the Queens' address, the last and probably only true home she'd ever known. When the cab pulled up Olivia sat and stared at the property … it hadn't changed. She knew it had been over nine months since she actually lived there but was finding it hard to come to terms with the fact.

Eventually she paid the driver and climbed out. Having no idea what she was going to do or where else to go she sat on the steps of the porch in the rain. She'd only been there a minute when she was struck with the heart wrenching memory of Fin bringing her to this house and calling it 'home' for the first time. He was the one who made her realise this was where she belonged. It seemed so long ago … Fin was gone … the house was gone … her career was gone … her relationship with Kathleen was gone … Elliot was gone.

It was the final thought which broke her … the thunder claps and heavy downpour of rain was nothing compared to the heart wrenching sobs which burst from her and the flood of tears which followed.

It was Naomi Hall who found her.

"Mrs Stabler? Is that you?" Naomi asked, coming out the front door. Olivia tried to control herself and nod. "What on earth are you doing here? Didn't you move to DC?" Olivia nodded again. "Come inside, you're soaking wet," she said but Olivia wouldn't move.

"No … thank you …" she sniffed. "I'm sorry … I shouldn't have … I just didn't … I …No," she stammered. "I'll go."

"No, Mrs Stabler, stay. It's okay … I'll get you a towel," Naomi said rushing back inside.

Don Cragen was sitting in his office, swamped by paperwork and cases when his phone rang.

"Cragen," he grumbled.

"Oh, Mr Cragen, name is Naomi Hall … I bought the house from your Detective Mr Stabler," she explained hesitantly.

"Detective Stabler is no…" he began but she interrupted.

"Oh, I know they moved to DC, but I've just found Mrs Stabler sitting on my doorstep. She's in a terrible state; she's soaked to the skin and won't come in. I was hoping …" she explained.

"I'll be right there," he said, jumping up and grabbing his jacket.

When Olivia heard a siren in the distance twenty minutes later, she instinctively knew it was coming for her.

Elliot knew there was something catastrophically wrong when he turned his cell back on after a two hour meeting at 1:30 PM. He had sixty three missed calls and eleven voice messages. Fifty three were from Maureen, ten from Don, all eleven voice messages were from Maureen and her tone could only be described as frantic.

"What's wrong?" he asked the minute she answered her cell.

"Mom's gone!" she cried. "I came back about midday to pick up some stuff and she was gone, she left you a note."

"What the hell are you talking about Maureen? She can't be gone, I spoke to her this morning," he yelled in panic.

"Well, she's gone. She says she can't be here and something about overhearing you this morning and knowing she can't work it out with you." Maureen started to sob. "What did you do, dad? What did you do?"

Elliot tried to wrack his brain about any conversation he'd had that day and then the realisation struck him like a thunderbolt – the phone call … she'd heard him talking when he thought she was asleep. "Did she say where she was going?" he asked, his heart nearly thumping out of his chest.

"Only that she wasn't running away," Maureen replied, still crying.

"Okay, Mo, listen carefully to me … don't tell the kids … mom hasn't been thinking clearly lately and they don't need to know … not yet. Can you pick Molly up from Mrs Embley and look after them all?" he asked, the organised detective in him overriding the panicked husband.

"Will you call me the minute you know anything?" she asked tearfully.

"Definitely, honey," he replied.

**eoeoebitsandpieceseoeoeoe**

**Two chapters to go**

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	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, but I'm sure Mr Wolf won't mind.

**eoeoeobitsandpieceseoeoeoe**

One of the benefits working for the Bureau was that it only took Elliot seven minutes to find out his wife had taken a flight from DC to La Guardia. Despite the circumstances he couldn't help but smile, albeit briefly. She hadn't run; she'd gone home.

He called Don. "Cragen," he answered on the second ring.

"Don, it's Elliot …" he began almost breathlessly.

"Where the hell have you been?" his former boss yelled down the line.

Elliot ignored the question. "Is Olivia with you?"

"She is now," Don answered. "Care to tell me what happened between you two?"

"Nothing happened," Elliot replied defensively.

"Well, for nothing, your wife was extremely distressed. She turned up on the steps of your old house in Queens, soaked to the skin and very upset by the time I got to her," Don explained; hostility still evident in his voice.

"Don, I swear I haven't done anything," he pleaded. "Liv's just confused."

"Well, that's for you two to sort out …" Don snapped.

"Can I speak to her?" Elliot asked.

"No, I made her take a hot shower, eat and go to bed," he replied, trying to remain calm.

"Is she at your place?" he asked, while still searching the internet for the first flight he could get.

"Yes and George Huang will be here shortly to speak to her. When can we expect to see you?" he asked, his tone formal.

"As soon as humanly possible."

When Olivia awoke it took her a few minutes to figure out where she was. She had been to Don's apartment several times before but never into his bedroom. Feeling uncomfortable by the new experience she climbed out and headed back to the sitting room.

"Oh," she said seeing Don sitting and talking to George.

"Hey, Liv," Don said, getting to his feet. "Can I get you anything?"

"No, thank you," she replied, gesturing for him to remain seated.

"Hello Olivia," George said, smiling at her.

"Doc," she nodded.

"Well, I have a few things I need to do at the precinct … I'll leave you two to talk." Don stood and kissed her head as he passed by. "Call me if you need me."

Don had been gone fifteen minutes before the talk between Olivia and George moved beyond stilted commonalities to something more substantial.

"How are you really doing, Olivia?" George asked finally.

With a hundred and one thoughts rushing through her head Olivia decided to go against instinct when it came to talking to the psychiatrist and went with the truth.

"I have no idea, George," she began. "Honestly … I can't figure out how I am."

"Let's go through things one at a time … okay?" he said gently and she nodded.

"Why did you come back to New York today?" he asked, and she smiled at the gentle, reassuring tone in his voice.

"I had the overwhelming feeling that I needed to come home," she said, her eyes fixed on the arm of the sofa.

"And did you?" he questioned.

Olivia shook her head. "I thought when I walked out the airport I was home. Then I went back to the house and it wasn't what I thought it would be … it wasn't home."

"Where's your home, Olivia?" he asked, as she dared to make eye contact with him.

She didn't answer … to verbalise her thoughts would make them true and she was in no state to deal with that.

"Olivia?" he prompted.

She shook her head. "I have no home…" she answered quietly. "I shifted Elliot's family to a new city thinking only about me." She fiddled with the cuff on Don's shirt she was wearing. "Now I don't even have Elliot," she whispered.

"What do you mean?" George asked, leaning forward.

"I don't know a lot about anything since August but I … I think he resents me … after all it was me who made him leave his home and he's been cheating … seeing Dani when he's been back here … he says he's working for the FBI but for all I know he's still with SVU and he left me … or I left him or…" She stopped when her tears started to fall; she rubbed the back of her hand across her face to wipe them away.

"Okay, Olivia, I think there are a few things I need to clear up for you," George began. "Elliot came to me after the shooting … after the ballistics report and Kathleen's outburst and wanted my advice…"

"What?!" Olivia's eyes opened wide.

"It surprised me too," George grinned briefly. "You both had decided to leave the department … and he came to me. I asked him what he wanted most out of life … and he said for you to be happy. I asked him how that could happen and he said to move and start afresh. His concern was a job but with his experience I thought he'd a great asset at the Bureau …"

"He decided to move, not me? He gave everything up? The house, New York, leaving Maureen here?" Olivia asked to clarify.

"Elliot wanted you to be happy; he said he would give up anything and everything for you. He never considered it a sacrifice," George reported, resting his hand on her arm.

"But then he kept coming back to New York … he didn't want to be in DC with me," Olivia said, the tears falling once more.

"He kept coming back for work, Olivia. You joined the task force for the first week and Elliot stayed in DC. Molly got sick and you went back … Molly didn't want you to leave her and even in that one week you were here it was clear you were struggling being back in the precinct. On your first day you took one look at the desks in the squad room and then sat in the cribs and cried for an hour," he explained gently.

"I did?" she questioned, nothing but static playing through her brain as she tried to drum up a memory of it.

"I went in and spoke to you and all you could say was it was killing you to be there … you couldn't see yourself seeing out the investigation but you would … you owed it to Fin … he'd been involved in the original investigation," George paused. "It didn't surprise me when Elliot turned up the following week. He said he took one look in your eyes and came back instead. Olivia - he'd do anything for you."

"That's what I thought … until I heard him talking to Dani this morning and …" her voice trailed. George grinned. "I didn't think it was funny."

"Let me explain," George grinned again and reached out to take her hand. "Elliot called me while you were asleep and explained the phone call. He wanted me to make sure you knew what it was about as soon as possible." Olivia nodded. "You overheard him talking to Danny Baker … Danny is an artist … a painter … Elliot is having him paint a family portrait, based on photographs, for your birthday present. When he was in New York, he'd go and see him and make sure he was doing a good job … not being able to get back here in recent weeks impeded the progress … he was just checking in …making sure it was ready. It's your birthday in two weeks; he wanted it sent to you."

"Oh god!" Olivia gasped, she'd suggested it last summer … he'd remembered. "So, he's not seeing anyone… and he left everything … for me!" A huge lump constricted her throat and made breathing impossible … it was as if every ounce of pain had coagulated and was doing its best to choke her.

Her eyes opened wide in fright and her skin lost its colour. The next thing she knew she was waking up in hospital with Don and George standing over her.

"Olivia, you're at Mercy," George said calmly. "You passed out. How are you feeling?"

She looked from one to the other. "I want Elliot!" she cried.

"I'm here, baby," he said, rushing into the room. She scrambled to her knees and threw her arms around his neck desperate for his touch, his understanding, his love. The moment his arms encircled her she began to cry loud, pain-filled sobs which echoed in the trauma room and pierced his heart. The more Elliot tried to soothe her, the worse it became. Very soon she was gasping for air … her whole body in total conflict.

Before he could settle her down she had passed out once again.

Olivia's next lucid recollection was of waking up once again in the hospital but this time Elliot was wrapped around her. The moment she opened her eyes he placed his finger on her lips.

"Don't say anything," he whispered, not wanting her to become distressed again. Her blood pressure kept fluctuating wildly, which had resulted in her fainting; her obvious distress was not helping matters.

"I want you to listen to me, Olivia," he said quietly but firmly. "I love you very, very much. I know you are really upset right now but I need you to stay calm and let me explain a few things…"

She shook her head, there was nothing left to explain … George had taken care of it. But Elliot took her gesture as not being interested. "Please, Liv…" he begged. "Please let me explain…"

Olivia took his finger from her lips and kissed it. "I already know, George told me … about Danny … about the move …"

"I never … Liv … you have to believe me about Dani Beck … there was never anything … there could never have been anything … I was already desperately in love with you … even way back then … you understand that, don't you?" he pleaded, his dark blue eyes clouded by tears.

"I do understand …" she began, "but after everything else and then hearing your call and hearing that name …"

"It wasn't her though," he interrupted, holding her tighter.

"I know, baby," she whispered. "But you have to understand I haven't been thinking too clearly. I have all these bits and pieces in my head and one minute I think I've got everything ordered and under control and the next I get thrown and I don't know what to believe or who to believe…"

"Me, baby, believe in me, please, believe in me …" he pleaded as a single tear escaped and ran down his cheek. Olivia leaned up and kissed it away.

"I do believe you, El, I do," she whispered, hooking her hands behind his neck. "It's just … I never had … I didn't expect you to have done that for me," she stumbled.

Elliot shook his head in confusion. "Done what?"

"Leave New York and everything else behind to make things better for me," she said, pulling him to her.

"Olivia, we have been together forever, even before we got together, don't you know by now I would do anything for you … anything?" he asked, not truly understanding how she could not know this by now.

"I know you mean that …" she began, shaking her head. "It's just no one else ever … I never …"

He gently took her face in his hands and held it firmly in place so she had to look at him. "Olivia Stabler … you listen to me … I can't change anything that happened before I met you, I wish to God I could, but I can't … but that's in the past. All I can do is what I've already done and that's to give you my heart and soul and pray that's enough for the present and the future."

Slowly Olivia nodded … it was enough … it would always be more than she ever thought possible … more than she ever dreamed of… more than she thought she deserved. She held him tightly.

"Elliot," she whispered, almost too scared to speak and break the moment. "I never ran away this time … you realise that don't you … I didn't run away…" He pulled back and looked at her.

"I know, baby, you were coming home," he replied. "Did you find it? Find your home?" She shook her head and it surprised him. "Why not, Liv?"

She shook her head sadly as the tears tumbled once more.

"Where is your home, Olivia?" he asked quietly, his thumb brushing her tears away.

"Wherever you are, El," she whispered kissing his chest above his heart. "Wherever you are."

**eoeoebitsandpieceseoeoeoe**

**Epilogue to come**

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	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me, but I'm sure Mr Wolf won't mind.

**eoeoeobitsandpieceseoeoeoe**

**Epilogue: A month later**

Elliot awoke in the very early hours of Saturday morning and was surprised to find Olivia was awake too.

"Hey, Livvy," he whispered, sliding closer to her. "What's up?"

"Not much, baby," she replied, raking her fingers through his hair. "I'm just feeling restless."

"Me too, Liv … The good thing is you have your appointment on Monday and after that we won't be so _restless_ anymore." He leaned over and kissed her.

"Well …" she began, talking against his mouth. "Monday is only 48 hours away; we're not going to do any harm being a little early." She tried to deepen the kiss but Elliot pulled back.

"We … are …" He found it incredibly difficult to talk with her tongue trying to slip into his mouth. "Going to… wait."

"Arghhhh!" she groaned rolling away from him.

"I know how you feel, baby," he said rubbing her back. "I feel the same way." Olivia rolled back to him, a gleam in her eye.

"Well," she said, raising an eyebrow. "I can fix your problem for you." Before Elliot could respond she slipped her hand into his boxers and quickly wrapped her long fingers around his length. His response was instant.

Elliot shook his head at the speed of his erection; knowing had this little scene been in a cartoon, he knew he'd now have a speech bubble hovering above his groin with the word "BOING!!"

"Liv," he weakly attempted to protest as her hand manipulated him. "It's not fair that you do this for me and I can't do anything for you."

"When I get the all clear on Monday you will be doing many, many things for me," she replied, increasing her pressure and watching his eyes glaze over.

"Baby, this isn't going to take long you know … it's been a while and, well…" his voice trailed as his blood pooled elsewhere.

With ease, Olivia straddled him and carefully dragged herself down his body, taking his boxers as she went. Her lips were only an inch away from her target when he opened his eyes and realised her intent.

"No, Liv…" he said, tugging at her head. "Hands only."

"Why?" she pouted looking up at him.

"If I can't use my mouth on you, you can't use yours on me…" he replied.

"But…" She crawled up him again, coming to rest on all fours above him.

Anything else she had to say was curtailed when their bedroom door flung open and Molly raced in and jumped on the bed. In the surprise of the moment, Olivia collapsed onto her husband, squashing his hardened length between them. Elliot grabbed the pillow and moaned loudly into it, the pain reverberating around his body.

Quickly Olivia moved from him and addressed their daughter. "Molly, why are you out of bed?" she asked, holding the child to prevent her going to Elliot.

"Me thirsty, mommy," she replied, wriggling in her mother's arms.

"Well, let's get you a drink and take you back to bed," Olivia said, getting out of bed.

"What's wrong, daddy?" Molly asked. Elliot moaned again.

"Daddy has a boo-boo, pumpkin," Olivia replied, trying to stifle a laugh.

"Mommy kiss it better," she instructed, pointing at her father.

"Yes, Molly, mommy will kiss it all better for daddy in a minute." She grinned when she heard Elliot's exasperated groan from beneath the pillow.

A drink, a kiss, her favourite lullaby and Molly was asleep again in her own bed. Olivia returned to her room making sure to lock the door this time. Once, their bedroom door was locked every night to avoid such surprises but in recent times there had been no need.

Silently slipping into bed beside Elliot, Olivia carefully pulled away the pillow still covering his face.

"You okay, baby?" she asked, trying to conceal her grin. He nodded. "I'm really sorry."

"I know," he finally groaned. "God, it hurts."

"Is there anything I can do for you … for it?" she said kissing his cheek.

He shook his head, just the thought of his wife doing anything in that vicinity was causing problems already. She noticed his discomfort.

"Do you want me to finish what I started?" she asked with a saucy wink.

"I think it would kill me," he replied, knowing her hand on him would inflict pain.

"Well…" She sat up and pulled off her nightgown. "I think then we should just use it as God intended."

"Liv," he replied in a warning tone. "You can't…"

"We're even now, El… both of us will have to take it easy to avoid problems, right?" she asked.

"Right," he replied as she straddled him.

"So … we'll take it easy and see what happens. Chances are it will be the worst sex we've ever had," she explained, slowly lowering herself onto him. She tried desperately to think of anything other than riding him hard and coming screaming his name loud enough to shatter the windows.

"It could never be bad with you, Olivia," he replied, resisting the urge to roll them over and slam into her so many times their bodies fused.

Painstakingly slowly, Olivia moved herself up and down; each and every movement was met with a moan of sorts from Elliot. She knew he wasn't far from coming but she also knew she was. Deciding the best she could do was get him to come for her, she increased her speed.

"Come for me, El," she whispered hoarsely, as she rode him as gently as she could.

"You first," he replied, steadying her by putting his hands around her waist.

"No … I can't … I won't …You come for me, baby," she panted as she began clenching her muscles hoping to draw his orgasm from him … knowing she was too tired to do this much longer.

Elliot looked into her eyes and knew she was doing this for him … for his needs but he also knew she was fatigued. He reached up and tangled his fingers through her hair before pulling her down to him. "Need to feel you, baby," he groaned as he pressed her entire body to his. She moaned at the immediate and intense heat between them. As gently as he could, he rolled them over and with a couple of quick thrusts he came, burying his face in her pillow and calling her name repeatedly as he rode his wave of orgasmic bliss.

When he was sufficiently controlled he realised he was still on top on her, he tried to roll off but she was reluctant to let him.

"I need you, El," she whispered quietly. He rolled them both back over and she came to rest on him. Her cheek resting on his heart, while her finger traced the bullet wound. She wondered if the red scar would always torment her.

After a while she slid off him and snuggled into his side; an arm and a leg draped over him. For a while there was a contented silence between them before Olivia started to talk.

"It was pink wasn't it?" she began. "Molly's birthday dress. It was pink with flowers and a big bow at the back. We bought it at Bloomingdales because you said she'd looked like a princess."

"That's right," Elliot replied, kissing her head. "And she wore it for all of ten minutes at her party and then insisted…"

"Insisted she wear her blue overalls and blue tee so she wasn't a sissy," Olivia ended his sentence.

"Yeah, Rick had been tormenting her about being a sissy in pink," Elliot added.

"And we had an ice cream cake and party food and pink and purple balloons," she continued, smiling that this was the first true memory to return on its own.

"Yes we did," confirmed Elliot, a matching smile in place.

Then there was silence again as they drifted off to sleep.

It was 8:20 am when they were awoken by the rattling of their door.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Molly called out; surprised she couldn't open the door. "Door not open!"

Olivia sighed and went to get out of bed before she felt Elliot's hand slide around her waist. "Perhaps she'll go back to bed and give us a few minutes to ourselves," he whispered, as his daughter called out once more.

"No such luck, babe," she said climbing out.

"Molly!" she heard Maureen call. "Come away from there."

"Mo, me want to play with daddy," she said, holding up her favourite doll.

"I'll play with you," Maureen answered, holding out her hand.

"No, Mo, me play with daddy," Molly protested as she was scooped up.

"You can later on. Mommy's playing with daddy now," said Maureen with a grin, knowing the locked door was a good sign.

Olivia stood in the middle of her room trying not to laugh, she didn't have long to think about it before Elliot appeared in front of her and his lips claimed hers.

"Mo had it wrong," he said between kisses. "Daddy is playing with mommy."

Slowly he walked her backwards to the bed and when her knees touched the mattress she climbed onto it and crawled into the middle.

"I think mommy would like that very much," she replied as he moved over her and covered her body with kisses.

Ever so gently he positioned himself at her entrance and searched her eyes for any sign she was unsure about this. The only thing he could see in the chocolate orbs before him was the complete and total faith she had in him, the first time since she'd hit her head. She trusted him implicitly and loved him more than he ever thought possible and it was all there in her eyes.

He eased himself into her and waited for her to be ready.

"Liv, if you…" he began before her fingers found his lips.

"No more talking, El … that's all we've been doing. No more talking," she whispered.

Elliot's thrusts were slow and gentle belying both their need for an intense connection. Each movement was slightly deeper, slightly quicker as he fought to ignore the pressure building within him. A few minutes in, Olivia knew she didn't want to wait for him to slowly build up to the crescendo.

"Faster, El," she whispered, anchoring her hands to his butt and trying to increase his speed.

"You sure?" he replied.

"God, yes," she moaned as she felt a welcome friend returning from deep within her.

It didn't take Elliot much more to send her over the edge and willingly follow her, both using the other's body to smother their screams of ecstasy in a house full of children.

Lying wrapped in each other, both were content to stay in bed and enjoy the blissful silence of their room. But reality was beyond the door and they had to face it.

"What do we do now?" Olivia asked, stifling a yawn.

"About what?" he replied, yawning himself.

"About talking to the kids … about where home is – I know we never had that family meeting," she said.

"Why don't we ask them this morning?" Elliot replied.

"And we'll do whatever they decide, right?" Olivia checked.

"Yep … whatever they want."

Olivia sighed deeply. "What about Kathleen?"

"What about her?" Elliot asked.

"I need to speak to her … and soon," she answered, grateful Elliot had cancelled her trip last month when Olivia had taken off to New York, she wasn't in any state to see her then but she felt much stronger now.

"We can organise that today too," he said, kissing her head.

Silence ensued again.

"What are you thinking about now?" he asked gently.

"When we conceived," she started, rubbing her hand over her belly. "We were in New York for the twins' birthday, weren't we?" she asked, looking at her husband.

"Yes, you all arrived Thursday. Friday we had a family dinner and Saturday they wanted to have friends over and didn't want us 'oldies' there as Liz put it," Elliot explained, his hand joining hers on the bump.

"So, Mo said she'd play chaperone and we went to the Radisson … where was Molly?" she asked, some things still not clear.

"Casey said she'd have her and do her god-motherly duties," he grinned, the memories still clear in his mind.

"So we had the night out?" Olivia's eyes glistened.

"Actually," he corrected, his eyes sparkling. "It was a night in."

"If I remember rightly," she started. "And we both know that's a big if… We made love a lot that night."

"Um … guess you could say that," he said, winking at her.

Momentarily she was confused. "So we did or we didn't?"

"Oh, we did … we REALLY did," he clarified, his proud grin speaking volumes.

"I remember something about a door and the bathtub and the bed…is that right?" she asked, her hand caressing his chest.

"Well, I didn't keep a running record but … um… up against the door the minute we got into the room … the bathroom … the bed … twice … the Jacuzzi … the shower … the sofa and the bed…" He looked over at her almost embarrassed by their night.

"Wow!" It took her a moment to think of the most appropriate response to that information.

"Liv?" Elliot questioned when she looked at him oddly.

"Um…well, yeah," she started. "I guess that explains something."

"Does it? What does it explain?" he asked confused.

"The twins…" She looked up at him and smiled at the confusion on his face.

"The twins were with Maureen at their birthday party and …" he tried to explain but she shook her head.

"Not those twins," she said. "These." She lovingly rubbed her hand over her expanded belly once more.

"Twins? In there? Twins?" he asked; his face paling.

Olivia pulled herself to him and rubbed his back. "You have a very good batting average there, Mr Stabler. Two sets of twins in three pregnancies … pretty big odds."

"Twins?' he repeated, not quite believing what he'd heard.

"Not just twins, El," she started.

"Not triplets?" he gasped.

"NO!" she retorted. "They are twin boys."

"Boys? Both of them?" he questioned.

"Yep … I found out just before Rick's surgery… I was just trying to find the right way to tell you," she admitted, nuzzling into his neck.

"Thank you, Olivia," he said earnestly, kissing her deeply.

She let herself get lost in his kiss before they heard a familiar padding outside their door.

"I think someone's done with waiting…" Olivia said, throwing back the covers.

"Why don't you go have a shower and I'll see to her … then we can have that talk with the kids, ok?" Elliot suggested, kissing her lips then her stomach, twice, one for each of his unborn sons.

When Olivia walked into the kitchen Molly instantly reached out to her and she took her from her father's arms. She sat at the table and Molly faced her, her legs still partly wrapped around Olivia's waist, one hand in Olivia's hair and the other hooked onto her bra strap.

She looked around the table and saw three Stabler children staring intently at her.

"What's up?" she asked, looking from the kids to Elliot.

"Dad said we all had to talk but had to wait for you," Liz said, a nervous edge to her voice.

"Okay, so I'm here now," she said, her hand raking through Molly's hair.

"It's bad, isn't it?" Rick said.

"No!" Olivia and Elliot answered in unison.

"Here's the thing, guys…" Olivia began. "We moved to DC for a whole range of reasons and with everything that happened at the time it seemed like the right thing to do. But, since my accident, your dad and I have come to realise that we didn't really think about what you wanted … what was best for you."

"So…" Elliot continued. "We thought we'd give you all some time to think and talk about it and decide where you want us to live … as a family."

"What about what you and mom want?" Maureen asked. "I mean you have your jobs, and Molly and the baby … I won't live at home forever and in a couple of years the twins will be at college …"

"We have all we need right here," Olivia said, looking around the room. "We just want you all to be happy and if going back to New York will do that … or staying here or moving to Texas … whatever…we'll do it."

Maureen shrugged, she'd go wherever the family was; it was really the twins who had the most to gain or the most to lose.

Olivia watched amused as the twins exchanged a range of looks in their unspoken language before Rick spoke. "I know you probably won't believe us… but Liz and I think living in DC is best. We know we weren't for it at the start but it was the right decision. In DC we aren't living in the shadow of what happened with mom … we can get on with things and be a proper family."

It was Liz's turn. "When we first moved here we saw more of both of you than we did in New York … it's only since mom's lost her memory we realised just how important us being together is."

"So you both vote to stay here?" Elliot asked. The twins nodded. "Mo?"

"I spoke to my editor Friday about making my internship at the paper a permanent arrangement … he said yes … so I definitely vote for DC," she grinned.

"Well, I vote DC," said Elliot. "That's four votes…"

"That's majority rules, isn't it?" asked Liz.

"Not quite," Elliot said.

"Molly?" Olivia looked down at the girl in her arms who was just content to hold tight to her mommy. "Where do you want to live, pumpkin? Here or New York?"

"Me want to live with mommy," she said, tugging on Olivia's hair. Olivia kissed her head.

"Well, Molly and mommy want to live in DC too," Olivia said, smiling at her family.

"Four plus Mom and Molly is six," said Rick. "That has to be majority rules regardless of what Kathleen says."

"Well, son … you seem to have inherited a few things from me … your inability to count is one of them," Elliot grinned.

"Molly plus mom is actually three," said Liz mockingly. "You forgot junior."

"And you can't count either, Liz," Elliot reproached playfully. "Molly plus mom is actually four."

"Four?" The three older Stablers said in unison.

"Yup," said Olivia.

She watched in amusement as the confusion played on their faces before the reality sunk in.

"And the bonus is … they're both boys!" said Elliot proudly.

"Yes!!" shouted Rick.

"Don't get too excited, brother," Liz retorted. "Girls will still outnumber boys in the Stabler house."

Rick rolled his eyes. "Dad," he called looking for some support.

"Well, I guess after the twins are born we could go for the evener – upper," he grinned.

"Think again, daddy," said Olivia shaking her head. "I think seven children is more than enough for any family, don't you?"

"Oh, I don't know … don't they say it's cheaper by the dozen?" he asked, winking at her.

"Elliot, I say this with all my heart … after these two … any other Stabler children will be of the grandchildren variety," she said, looking towards Maureen.

"Well, don't expect that too soon," she spluttered. "Not happening for a few years at least."

"I'm glad to hear it," replied Elliot. "I don't know if I'm ready to be a grandfather just yet."

"Aren't you, daddy?" asked Liz innocently, as she stood up and rubbed her stomach. "Because there's something I've been wanting to tell you." She watched once again as his face contorted five different ways before she burst out laughing. "God, you're so easy, dad," she chuckled.

While everyone else burst into fits at laughter, Elliot didn't … finding nothing humorous in the matter at all.

"Don't look so serious, daddy," she said, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his cheek. "I'm still your baby girl."

Eventually, Elliot returned her embrace and sighed. He looked around his kitchen and saw the easy, loving relationships which had withstood a difficult year … his family had been through so much and despite the pain which it caused him he was also very happy and very relieved that everyone considered this to be their home – this place – these people.

There was still Kathleen and things had to be sorted out there but he wouldn't dwell on that right now. This moment was to be enjoyed. He looked over Liz's head and caught Olivia watching him.

"Love you," he mouthed.

"Love you too," she mouthed in return.

Yes, the bits and pieces had all fallen into place and this was definitely home.

**eoeoebitsandpieceseoeoeoe**

**Author's Notes: Thanks for coming along with me for another look into this particular Stabler family. This and the first in the series remain my personal favourites, but I guess I am biased. I do intend to revisit this family at a later date, but as I already have several other stories in the works it won't be for a while. **

**A special mention to those that have reviewed every chapter of both stories - I appreciate your commitment to the story and to me ... it does encourage me to continue writing. XOXOX**

**Some upcoming teasers:**

**_Daddy_ (oneshot): When Elliot is woken by the call of daddy, he gets things wrong. But it's easily fixed, all his wife wants is sex and what Liv wants, Liv gets.**

**_Innocence_ (multichaptered): When Lizzie is assaulted by someone they trust, Elliot finds it hard to cope. Thankfully he has Olivia's support. But what happens when he learns of the events at Sealview?**


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